Tool LAMC / Maynard's Dick [bonus track] Lyrics

Dialtone, touch-tone dialing, ring, ring)

Thank you for calling the los angeles municipal court.
This is an automated system that can handle most inquiries.
If after using this system, your question is not answered,
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(touch-tone 1)

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(three touch-tone 1's)

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For information in ig-pay atin-lay, lease-pay ress-pay ine-nay.

(touch-tone 1)

If you are responding to a notice from the city attorney's office, press 3.
To check the amount due on a parking ticket, press 4.
If you believe you are ticketed in error because your disabled person
Placard or your preferential parking permit was clearly displayed, or
Your vehicle is disabled, press 5.
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(long touch-tone 6)

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(three touch-tone 6's)

For traffic school information, press 1.
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(four touch-tone 6's)

If you need to make a traffic court appointment, please press 1,
Unless you have not filled out a dd form 3018, in which case,
Please press 2. to receive a blank dd form 3018, please come
Down to the los angeles municipal court building during normal
Business hours. if you have filled out dd form 3018, but have
Not reported to the city attorney's office, please press 3.

If you are not receiving physical therapy but have a relative that
Voted 'no' on proposition 187 * and have collected a notarized waiver
From said relative, and have attached said waiver in triplicate to
Said form, please press 4, unless of course, said relative is not
A naturalized citizen, in which case, please press 5.

If you are receiving physical therapy from a naturalized citizen but
Have not voted 'yes' or 'no' on proposition 187 and have not reported
To the city attorney, but have filled out form dd 3018, please
Press 6.

Of course, if you have not had your eyes tested by your local
Department of motor vehicles in the last three years, in which case
Press 7. if you have had your eyes tested and voted 'yes' on
Proposition 187, and have your dd form 3018 filled out and
Have already reported to the city attorney but have never been called
In for jury duty, press 8.

(touch-tone entry)

Make your selection at any time.

(here begins the touch-tone frenzy)

Make your selection at any time.

The system is waiting for a touch tone entry.
The system is waiting for a touch tone entry.

There is a possibility that you have made an error in
Selecting your message. please try again.

The system is waiting for a touch tone entry.

There is a possibility that you have made an error in
Selecting your message. please try again.

I'm sorry, but we are unable to interpret your request.
Please call back during normal business hours.

(click ... sound of dialing)

Thank you for calling the los angeles municipal court.
This is an automated system that can handle most inquiries.
If after using this system, your question is not answered,
Please, stay on the line
And a representative will be with you shortly.

(fades out on)
If you are calling from a touch-tone phone, please press 1.
If you are calling from a cellular phone, please press 2.

-

It's all an open center
Opens up and lets the wind lift him away
It doesn't have to feel water
It's just a place that feels right with him
Kinda like the way you're breathing
I kinda like the way you keep looking away
Would you like to glide on
Slide a mile six inches at a time on Maynard's d___

There's a shyness found in reason
Apprehensive influence swallow away
You seem to feel abysmal take it
then you're careful grace for sure
Kinda like the way you're breathing
Kinda like the way you keep looking away
Would you like to climb on
Climb on my six inches and go down on Maynard's d___

Took you out in the back of the toolshed
Put it right on top of your forehead
Took you out in the back of the toolshed
Now you know what you're f___in with... Maynard's d___!

See also:

84
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