I couldn't get in
she just had no language for it
For the blue-grey lament that washed inside her
She said even at birth she had recognized no one
That her body had felt like a capsule awaiting
a fuller world to dehisce

At our creaky house by the lake I lived with her for months
She would watch the still water flow like stained glass
for hours before
slipping in.

A fuller world to dehisce.
She wanted to go slower.

One morning she drowned
To fill her veins with lake water
Organisms and soft flecks of deadwood
suspended together
under everything.

A fuller world to dehisce.
She wanted to go slower.

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