Various Artists Adventures of Carlito Lyrics

If you don't stand strong you get knocked around,
fortify like a fort or else you'll fall down.
Eventually every living thing will fall into the sea,
how could I let someone else dictate who I'm gonna be?

I know this cat named Carlos, we called him Carlito,
the poor baby brother had a really small ego.
Diminutive in size, 4 foot 9,
if you provoked or goaded him,
it would bring tears to his eyes.
He lived a lachrymose life, very tearful,
and careful not to be out too late or he'd get an earful.
We'd go out with friends, Carlos was obsequious,
submissive, crawling on his hands and knees for us.
"Hey guys, can I hold the door?
Let me fold your napkin."
He lauded and applauded us, he was always clapping,
a sycophant, a kiss-up, on the court a mismatch.
When you offer services and they're not wanted, that's officious.
Employees act like that at their offices, being officious
to the bosses.
So whether low or high tide, Carlito would abide,
put up with whatever life threw in his eyes.
He was punctilious, eager to follow the rules,
he b___oned every b___on, always tied his shoes.
His number one priority was upholding propriety,
being polite and maintaining the laws of society.

One day Carlito took his dog for a walk,
ambling through Central Park in New York.
He heard some guy making some scurrilous remarks,
vulgar words and cruses, not sounding very smart.
The man's face seemed inimical from the start,
hostile and enemy-like, covered with scars.
Now you should never judge a man 'til you've
trekked a mile in his shoes, but if he
doesn't wear shoes, what you gonna do?
An evil, malevolent old man, wanted to spit words
that were vicious, harmful, and malicious.
The man looked angry enough to punch, he was truculent,
pugnacious, ready to fight, belligerent.
The man accosted Carlito, confronted him verbally.
Carlito got cut so bad you'd think he was in surgery.
See sticks and stones have never broken his bones,
but invectives have made him cry.
Carlito was feeling all timorous and fearful,
he tried acting circumspect, prudent and careful.
He said, "Hola amigo, que hora es?"
The stranger said nothing, just punched him in the chest.
BOOM! The man was nefarious,
evil and villainous, colder than Sagittarius.
The man continued with his petulance,
his rudeness and irritability, saying,
"I want you doggie."
He wanted to repudiate the offer, turn it down,
but the man had his fists in Carlito's face now.
He acceded to the request, Carlito said "yes."
"I guess in this case, bro, you know best."
Carlito wanted to be obliging and accommodating,
but in fact the situation was humiliating.

Later that day, I b__ped into a crying Carlito.
I was poised on a bench masticating on some nachos,
chewing, I said, "yo, bro, how you doing?"
He tried to play it off like he was only fooling.
He offered the spurious excuse
that he had something in his eye.
Never believe a spurious excuse, it's often a lie.
He was crying. He tried to abate his shame,
lessen his pain, telling me
without his dog he would be the same.
Then he told me the story,
how this man had abased him,
humiliated and disgraced him.
Lacerations over both his eyes, he had scars,
there had been an altercation, a physical confrontation.
It was up to me to mediate the dispute,
like Judge Judy but without the lipstick and attitude.
I had to be the arbitrator, the go-between.
We found the man in the park were he had been.
I knew the solution, we needed revenge, restitution,
some pay-back, retaliation, and retribution.
I said, "I take umbrage at that fact that you stole my friend's pet.
my heart's filled with anger and resentment."
He tried to down play, but I upbraided him,
I scolded him severely, criticized and berated him.
I said, "you need to give that dog back right now,
plus I want you to atone and apologize right now.
You're lucky that I'm feeling benevolent,
nice and generous, otherwise I might leave you
bereft of your esophagus, without your throat, without a hope."
The man conceded, he gave the dog back.
That's the end of the story.\ and the track...