I can't find Crazy Horse, can't find Hoffa
And Amelia's missing somewhere out at sea
And I hope they're happy, having a party
Elvis is serving them up green apple martinis

I can't find my watch, I can't find my wallet
So how in the hell am I supposed to find

The one that I love
The one that I need
Hidden so high
Buried so deep

Well I found a job, I found reasons
For all kinds of ways I can waste my time
And I found letters, and I found levers
And I found new ways just to tell old lies

I can't find my watch, I can't find my wallet
So how in the hell am I supposed to find

The one that I love
The one that I need
Hidden so high
Buried so deep
Somewhere to run
Somewhere to go
And if I ever find her
How will I know
How will I know

Cause I can't find Crazy Horse, can't find Hoffa
And Amelia's missing somewhere out at sea

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