My father was a lawyer, mom's at university
My brother and my sister, they both have their Ph.D.
My grampa was a pilot shooting n___s from t he sky
But I am the most famous, I'm a TV weather guy

He smiles at the camera and tells a little joke
H e always says it's sunny if the telestrator's broke
Thinks a meteorologist knows what falls from the sky
But he's got a steady income as a TV weather guy

They said that I'm not qualified to be on the TV
Don't know Celsius from Fahrenheit so I just say degrees
I just read the temperatures and make up a bunch of lies
And end up being right more than the guy on channel five

He smiles at the camera and tells a little joke
He always says it's sunny if the telestrator's broke
Thinks cloud are made from cotton that have blown up to the sky
But he's got a steady income as a TV weather guy

On Saturdays I must be out of bed by five A.M.
Put on a ton of make-up and then stare at the camera lens
Greeting all the viewers with a "Hi-hi-hip-hello!"
'Cause it's the day I have to host a kiddie cartoon show

He smiles at the camera then to his puppet sock
He raves about the crayon drawings of the family dog
Did a promo at the shopping mall and made the children cry
He's a lousy clown but a good TV weather guy

They said that I'm not cute enough to be an anchorman
Not tough enough for sports and for the arts I was too bland
But I know that some day I will reach my TV goal
When I guest star on Baywatch or 90210

'Til then I'll smile at the camera and tell a little joke
He always says it's sunny if the telestrator's broke
He wonders why big storms are always named for other guys
But he's got a steady income as a TV weather guy
He's got a steady income as a TV weather guy!

See also:
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