Ice T - Brother Marquis 99 Problems Lyrics

[Ice-T]
Yeah, last year a lot of m_________ers asked me
why I didn't do no old s__ nasty s___
But this year I went down to Miami and got my n____ from 2 Live
Brother Marquis in the house! (Yeah I'm the m_________in n____)
Yeah, we gonna answer the question about girl problems
All these n____z is havin girl problem, Marq
(Huh, tell them man, tell them how it is)
Lemme tell you what time is it...

I got a ho from the East, got a ho from the West
Got a ho that likes to jack it off and rub it in her chest
I got a ho from the North, a ho from the South
A ho that likes to suck it long and hold it in her mouth
I got a b____ with hair, a b____ with none
A b____ with a knife, a b____ with a gun
A b____ with a a__ big as a TV set
And there's a b____ over there; hey, the one I'm gonna get
But yo but maybe not, she might not like me though
No sweat to a vet; I'll slam a sista though, word
Ice in the whole d___ herd
I f___ 'em all and leave 'em on the curve
I got a b____ with a mink, who rocks a fat gold link
who likes to f___ me with her a__ up on the kitchen sink
Got a b____ with t__s, a b____ with a__
A b____ with none, but hey I give her a pass
And I love 'em all, I love 'em crazily
And they love me back - that's why they stay with me
So if you havin girl problems, I'll be there for you son
Got 99 problems and a b____ ain't one - hit it...
Nah a b____ ain't one

[Ice-T]
I got a b____ that's old, a b____ that's new
A b____ who love velvet in the colors blue
I got a b____ who's fat, a b____ who's built
A b____ who all her t__ties give out powdered milk
I got a b____ who's funny, a b____ who ain't
A b____ who can sing, a b____ who cain't
A b____ who loves f___in on a airplane..
I even got a b____ off +Soul Train+
I got a b____ who rolls a rag-top Benz..
Long ends
I got a b____ who's broke as a b__..
But she's the most fun
I got a b____ who play piano, a b____ who don't
A b____ who dances naked, a b____ who won't
A b____ who's short, a b____ who's tall
A b____ who burns my pager with priority calls
And I love 'em all, I love 'em crazily
And they love me back - that's why they stay with me
So if you havin girl problems, I'll be there for you son
Got 99 problems and a b____ ain't one - hit me

Yo Marquis - you from Miami man why don't you show
these m_________ers all the over the world; the 2 Live style
of how the b____es treat a m_________in fly n____ like you

[Brother Marquis]
I got 99 problems and a b____ ain't one of them
I don't trip on hos, cause I don't need none of them
p____'s the temptation, d___'s the persuasion
All hos suck c___ n____ how you play 'em?
That's why I don't sleep on 'em, I just freak on 'em
Stick d___ in they mouth; take it out and I skeet on 'em
The n____ the one-nighter, the b____ exciter
I only love my hos when I'm goin up inside her
Problem number one is gettin money
I'd rather taste the green than sip the honey
So don't expect nuttin cause I ain't offerin
I go hard on my b____es, cause I'm never never softenin
Puttin the demand on 'em, f___ 'em and scram on 'em
The "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" game is ran on 'em
So f___ how you feel, you f___in cheap thrill
I hope you took the pill cause I won't pay the bill
Gettin p____'s just another expense
If p____ pays the bills then d___ pays the rent
I only need a ho for one thing and that's to c__
I've got 99 problems and a b____ ain't one!

[Ice-T]
Ha! Yo Marquis my m_________er you got problems man?
(A b____ ain't one) Aww s___!
Now let me tell you how to do this s___

[M] I got a b____ that loves to G
[I] She'll f___ you right after she f___s me
[M] I got a b____ who loves both
[I] I got a b____ who loves handcuffs and ropes
[I] I got a b____ that's fast, a b____ that's slow
[M] A b____ that's a virgin and a b____ that's a ho
[I] A b____ that lies
[M] A b____ that's true
[I] A b____ who's a man BECAUSE THEY'RE "b____es 2"
[I] I got a b____ that's cool
[M] A b____ that's hot
[I] A b____ who loves rap, a b____ who loves rock
[I] A b____ who's lost and one who knows where it's at
[I] She gets up under me and purrs like a cat
[M] I got a b____ that runs, I got a b____ that walks
[M] I got a b____ that yells, I got a b____ who talks
[I] I got a b____ that's dirty, got a b____ that's neat
[I] I got a super fine b____ that I knocked in the swap meet

[Ice-T]
And I love 'em all, I love 'em crazily
And they love me back - that's why they stay with me
So if you havin girl problems, I'll be there for you son
I got 99 problems and a b____ ain't one - hit me...
No a b____ ain't one..
(Huh, you know a b____ ain't one!)

[Ice-T]
Youknahmsayin? I got problems with my m_________in rent Marquis
But a b____ ain't one

[Brother Marquis]
Man you got yourself nothin man
f___ them raggedy stank-a__ hos n____

[Ice-T]
A b____ ain't one
I got a problems stayin out here on these streets
with the police trying to take a n____ out, y'know?
But a b____ ain't one
Got problems with m_________ers.. buyin my records
But a b____ ain't one

[Brother Marquis]
f___ 'em all, n____ f___ them m_________ers

[Ice-T]
Youknahmsayin? A b____ ain't one
Got problems man

[Brother Marquis]
All them m_________ers can kiss my m_________in a__.. f'real

[Ice-T]
Really, n____z worryin about b____es
They better, they better find somethin else to worry about
{*fades out*}