Weerd Science The Sitcom Really Really Isn't All That Real Lyrics

Hey Mom, hey Dad, I'm home
Look, Hunny, it's our little mistake!
Come give mommie a hug, but be careful, I'm on the rag!
Mmm, cherry slushies for everyone!
Haha, how was your day?*

For starters it sucked a__ 'cause my boss is a d___head
God handed out sticks and gave me the s___-end
Ridden with hoes, no kiddin' like one's spittin'
Got two right on my neck, three blister and on my d___-end
Clock tickin', sickin' and stickin' these rhymes inside of a beat
When really nobody's listen
White trash, Johnny No-Cash
Tried to sell weed but thugs slapped me and took my stash

*Son, what's with the s___face?
Golly f___, Dad, heroin prices are through the roof
and my allowance just won't cut it anymore. I'm jonesin' for a hit!
Try whorin' your body, like Mom does!*

The local outcast with a rash on my inner thigh
Tryin' to outrun these b____es who all want me to die
Waitin' for some rappers to die so maybe I can get a chance
Without a song about makin' b____es dance
I hope all the clubs close
'Cause so many a__holes trapped in one building
Should burn like great white shows
And all our hope is to pose a threat
Try to change what rap music hopes and I forget

The sitcom ain't real, what it's about
Money's for gangstas not high school dropouts
My life never resembled an episode of Full House
You stay stuck in this town you'll scream 'til your lungs come out
The sitcom ain't real, what it's about
Money's for gangstas not high school dropouts
I get so frustrated the vein in my forehead pops out
I'm more dead than dead people buried and forgotten about

*Dad? I need to borrow $300
$300? What for, son?
Well, I got Jenny knocked up again!
Son, did I ever tell you about your mother and the wire-hanger?*

Clout? Nope, none of that
America hates me like Yasur Arafat
You f___ers remember that
I feel obligated to tell you that in the past
Oh yes, I playa-hated
Now s___ is different, now I'm playa-jaded
Most of these so called MCs is overrated and outdated
New dawn, and it's a red one
The only good rapper to me is a dead one

*Golly, Dad, is it ever O.K. to hit a woman?
Son, in my day, it wasn't right to hit a woman.
But now that equal rights have been established, you wallop that c___!
And kick her while she's down!*

Nah, I'm just f___in' around, I know I sound bitter
I grew up in a town where white kids say "What up, n____?"
When they all wanna be, it's ironic to me that that's what I get called
Just 'cause I wanna jump up on a beat
So f___ all you a__holes, past present and future
Hope a young thug fires at me, misses and shoots ya
I wouldn't lie, man, I tell the truth to ya
There's no tellin' what this f___in' town'll do to ya

Most of you a__holes all think you gangstas
99% of you's are f___in' fake, ain't ya's?
That's why I hate ya's
Verbal Heaven's gate knock a f___in' hole in my head, insert a metal plate
I feel empty, kinda plastic
When this s___ drops I'ma get my f___in' a__ kicked
But that's O.K. with me, I'd die for the cause
'Cause my only purpose in life is to f___ with ya'lls
I hate your f___in' guts 'cause my record got b__ped back
You went double-platinum, I went double-hubcap
A rugrat, you'd be p___ed too suckin' a freshly dubbed track
What the f___ would you do?

*Gee whillikers Dad, does it ever get any easier?
Son, if there's one thing I've learned it's this:
We're all gonna live and die in this s___ty, s___ty town* (He's right)

And the funny thing is, he is right. I bid you farewell
from s___ Town, America, folks. Get home safe,
ladies and gentlemen. Hold your girlfriends tight,
and pretend not to notice their mouths taste like your best friends d___.
'Cause in the end you're just a small town piece of s___. Smile!
Until next time folks, it's Weerd Science. f___ off.