I'll tell you a story that happened to me,
One day as I went down to Yar by the sea;
The sun it was bright and the day it was warm;
Says I a quiet pint wouldn't do me no harm.

I went in to the barman; I said, 'Give me a stout.'
Says the barman, 'I'm sorry, all the beer 'twas sold out;
Try whiskey or vodka, ten years in the wood.'
Says I, 'I'll try cider, I've heard that it's good.'

[Chorus:]
Oh never, oh never, oh never again,
If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten;
I fell to the ground and I couldn't get up,
After drinking a pint of that Johnny Jump Up!

After lowerin' the third I headed straight for the yard,
Where I b__ped into Brophy, the big civic guard;
'Come here to me, boy, don't you know I'm the law?'
Well, I upped with my fist, and I shattered his jaw.

He fell to the ground with his knees doubled up,
But it wasn't I hit him, 'twas the Johnny Jump Up;
And the next thing I met down in Yar by the sea
Was a cripple on crutches and says he to me:

'I'm afraid of me life I'll be hit by a car;
Won't you help me across to the Railwayman's Bar?'
And after three pints of that cider so sweet,
He threw down his crutches and he danced on his feet.

[Chorus]

Now, I went up the lee road, a friend for to see;
They call it the madhouse in Court by the Lee;
But when I got up there, the truth I do tell,
They had the poor b_____ locked up in a cell.

Says the guard, testing him, 'Say these words if you can:
Around the ragged rock the ragged rascal ran.'
'Tell them I'm not crazy, tell them I'm not mad;
'Twas only six pints of that cider I had!'

Now, a man died in the union by the name of MacNabb;
They washed him and placed him outside on a slab;
And after the coroner his measurements did take,
His wife took him home to a b_____ fine wake.

'Twas about twelve o'clock and the beer, it was high;
The corpse, he sat up and he says with a sigh:
'I can't get to heaven, they won't let me up
Til I bring them a pint of that Johnny Jump Up!'

[Chorus]

KEY Dm

verse/chorus:
Dm D C C
Dm Dm Dm C Dm

See also:
JustSomeLyrics
92
92.48
Count The Stars Breakthrough Lyrics
Wisin & Yandel Dale - Intro (feat Mr. Phillip) Lyrics