Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot
Don't wanna be some beer-swillin' hockey nut
And do I look like some frost-bitten hose head
I never learned my alphabet from A to zed

They all live on donuts and moose meat
And they leave the house without packin' heat
Never even bring their guns to the mall
And you know what else is too funny
Their stupid Monopoly money
Can't take 'em seriously at all

Well, maple syrup and snow's what they export
They treat curling just like it's a real sport
They think their silly accent is so cute
Can't understand a thing they're talking aboot

Sure, they got their national health care
Cheaper meds, low crime rates and clean air
Then again, well, they got Celine Dion
Eat their weight in Kraft macaroni
And dream of driving a Zamboni
All over Saskatchewan

Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot
Won't figure out the temperature in Celcius
See the map, they're hoverin' right over us
Tell you the truth, it makes me kinda nervous

Always hear the same kind of story
Break their nose and they'll just say "sorry"
Tell me, what kind of freaks are that polite
It's gotta mean they're all up to something
So, quick, before they see it coming
Time for a preemptive strike

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