Ladies and gentlemen... Jerry Seinfeld.

Okay ! Good night, good night everybody !

Well well well... I can't believe you made it.

I don't even know how you got tickets.

(man from the audience): Broker !

"Broker !" Not a very good one, I see. My guy got me right on stage.

This is the Broadhurst Theater. It's a... legendary theater, I know... nothing about it. I picked it because... (phone rings in the audience) Oh, let me get that, let me get that. That's for me, I asked them to hold my phone.

That is so embarrassing, isn't it ? I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often though, because it's hard to (whispering) "oh wait, put it on the vibrate only".

Oh the phones, what we have got nuts with the phones, haven't we ? We're crazy with the phones ! This guy thinks he needs that phone !

The thing that amuses me the most about the phone machine is how often we call people now, trying to get the machine. That's what's happened now with the machine. If it's the person that picks up, then you're... "oh !... I... oh I didn't... I didn't think you would be there... I... I just wanted to leave a message saying "Sorry I missed you" ".

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