Old Saint Nick's got Bourbon breath
It's so cold you could catch your death
A cop sold me some crystal meth
It's a merry f___in' Christmas

Everything's so Christmasy
The streets are twinklin' with frozen pee
My priest just sat on Santa's knee
It's a merry f___in' Christmas

All the kids go to bed each night
To dream what Santa brings 'em (brings 'em)
Unless they're Jewish or Muslim or
Some other gyp religion

c___py toys flyin' off the shelves
Midgets dressed up to look like elves
Spread good cheer or burn in hell
It's a merry f___in' Christmas

All the kids go to bed each night
To dream what Santa brings 'em
Unless they're Jewish or Muslim or
Some other gyp religion

Cracklin' fires to keep me warm
And my collection of Asian p___
Cradle my bells and work my horn
It's a keep on truckin', last year suckin',
Midget chuckin', slap the puck in,
How-much-wood-can-a-woodchuck-chuckin'
Merry f___in' Christmas!

Santa: Ho-ho-ho!
Denis: Shut up! (POW!)
Santa: Ohhh!

See also:
JustSomeLyrics
93
93.32
Verenpisara Rakkauden Esikoinen Lyrics
Russell Allen & Jorn Lande Under The Waves Lyrics