P!ATD- There's A Good Reason Why These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought Of It Yet Lyrics

Please leave all overcoats, canes and top hats with the doorman,
From that moment, you'll be out of place and under dressed.
I'm wrecking this evening already, and loving every minute of it,
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and...

Please leave all overcoats, canes and top hats with the doorman,
From that moment, you'll be out of place and under dressed.
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it,
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and...

When you're in black slacks with accentuating off-white pinstripes, whoa-oh,
Everything goes according to plan.

I'm the new 'cancer',
Never looked better, you can't stand it,
Because you say so under your breath.
You're reading lips, "When did he get all confident?"
Haven't you heard that I'm the new 'cancer',
Never looked better and you can't stand it.

Next is a trip to the, the ladies room in vain and,
I bet you just can't keep up (keep up!) with these fashionistas and,
Tonight, tonight, you are, you are a whispering campaign.
I bet to them, your name is "Cheap."
I bet to them you look like shh...
Talk to the mirror, oh, choke back tears,
And keep telling yourself that, "I'm a diva."
Oh, and the smokes in that cigarette box,
On the table, they just so happen to be laced with nitroglycerin.

Haven't you heard that I'm the new 'cancer'?
I've never looked better and you can't stand it.
Haven't you heard that I'm the new 'cancer'?
I've never looked better and you can't stand it.

And I know, and I know,
It just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up.
I've never been so surreptitious,
So, of course, you'll be distracted when I spike the punch.

And I know, and I know,
It just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up.
I've never been so surreptitious,
So, of course, you'll be distracted when I spike the PUNCH!