Brian! Skate! Brian! Fight! Brian! Skate! Brian! Fight!

What would Brian Boitano do if he was here right now?

He'd make a plan, and he'd follow through,
that's what Brian Boitano'd do!

When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics,
skating for the gold,
he two Salchows and a triple Lutz, wearing a blindfold.

When Brian Boitano was in the Alps,
fighting grizzly bears,
he used his magical fire breath and saved the maidens fair.

So what would Brian Boitano do if he was here today?
I'm sure he'd kick an a___ or two,
that's what Brian Boitano'd do!

When Brian Boitano travelled through time to the year 3010,
he fought the evil robot king and saved us all again.

And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids,
he beat up Kublah Khan, '
Cause Brian Boitano doesn't take s___ from anybody!

No, Brian! Those chicken wings are really spicy! Don't eat those!

I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings!
I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings!
I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings!
I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings!
I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings!
I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings!
I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings!

Brian Boitano was born on the planet of Kryluck.
He came to earth to save us all from war and death and suck!
Hi de lo de hi de lay! Brian Boitano's here!
So round up all your lasses, and tell them to have no fear!
Say, come over here my honey, I'm gonna take off my pants,
and I'm gonna make dirty love to you, 'Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do!

'Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do!

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