Big Audio Dynamite Medicine Show Lyrics

[GET 3 COFFINS READY]
Covered wagon medicine show
Take you to the place where the healing flows
Weak in spirit we got the juice
Wont save your soul?! it'll shine your shoes!
Treated king to kangaroo
Santa Fe to Timbuktu
Don't be fooled by imitation
This is the stuff that cured a nation
We took the tube and the high plains too
Never stopped long just passing through
A drop of the laughter of the maids of France
Makes a hopeless cripple dance.

It was really vile weather
When we got tarred and feathered
You could hear the six guns sound
As they chased us out of town.

In India we're all the rave
Discovered that its great as aftershave
Dropped in the sea just off j__an
Swapped 20 bottles for an aqua-walkman.
Immunity from ridicule
Improves your brains if you're a fool,
And I read in the Middle East
They traded some for a hostage release
Now if you're bald it'll give you hair-
If you got straight trousers it'll give you flares.
Feeling up you'll get depressed
Out of style here's a brand new dress.

It was really vile weather
When we got tarred and feathered.
You could hear the six guns sound
As they chased us out of town.

[WHO THE HELL IS THAT?... ONE b______ GOES IN AND ANOTHER COMES OUT.]
[I'M INNOCENT OF ANYTHING!]
[YOU MAKIN' SOME KINDA JOKE?]
[I DON'T THINK ITS NICE YOU LAUGHING!]

The stuff we sell is just the best
Passing all consumer test
Days of heaven nights of sin
Voodoo stick and sharks fin
When all around you seems like hell
Just one sip will make you well
Multipurpose in a jar
If you ain't ill it'll fix your car
In days of yore for all bad feelings
Washing socks and stripping ceilings
Nowadays its used medicinally
For all known human malady

It was really vile weather
When we got tarred and feathered
You could hear the six guns sound
As they chased us out of town

Wanted in fourteen counties of this state,
the condemned is found guilty of crimes of murder, armed robbery of citizens,
state banks and post offices;
the theft of sacred objects,
arson in a state prison, perjury, bigamy,
deserting his wife and children, inciting prostitution, kidnapping, extortion, receiving stolen goods,
selling stolen goods,
passing counterfeit money and contrary to the laws of this state the condemned is guilty of using marked cards and loaded dice.
Therefore, according to the powers vested in us, we sentence the accused here before us,
Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez

(KNOWN AS THE RAT)

and any other aliases he might have, to hang by the neck until dead....
May god have mercy on his soul....proceed.

DUCK YOU SUCKERS...

I don't have to show you any stinking badges!

Guaranteed don't you know
Money back?
You'll get a no!
It's the one and only medicine show