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00:00:19.90,00:00:22.00
Get the supplies..

00:00:22.70,00:00:24.80
drop the supplies..

00:00:25.20,00:00:27.30
get the supplies..

00:00:27.70,00:00:29.60
drop the supplies..

00:00:30.10,00:00:31.90
get the supplies..

00:00:32.30,00:00:35.00
drop the supplies.. oh, hi Omar!

00:00:35.10,00:00:40.60
Oh hello Azeem.. I have been a__igned on a recon mission and stuff..

00:00:40.70,00:00:44.50
to find the purple base right.. wanna come?

00:00:44.60,00:00:47.90
I'm sorry, but I have to collect supplies!

00:00:48.30,00:00:53.70
Are you sure you wouldn't rather build a tunnel near the purple base and stuff?

00:00:57.11,00:01:01.41
Hey Matt, do you ever wonder why we're here? Fighting for supplies and map control?

00:01:01.51,00:01:06.11
Well.. you know those people back home that have ridiculous amounts of money?..

00:01:06.21,00:01:09.31
more money than we could possibly spend in our lifetimes?

00:01:09.61,00:01:13.11
Them folks need more money.. that's why we're here

00:01:13.31,00:01:16.71
That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard!

00:01:17.51,00:01:19.71
Hey tank! Why are we here?

00:01:19.81,00:01:25.91
We fight for peace, preserving freedom, protecting our people.. it's the right thing to do

00:01:26.01,00:01:30.01
That's what I thought! Now let's go liberate some oil wells!

00:01:30.91,00:01:38.91
If my wife found out I was building a tunnel this close to the infidels base, the next v_____ I will see will be in the afterlife!

00:01:39.21,00:01:45.31
Well Azeem, you will not need your wife's v_____, when you have 72 virgins in the afterlife!

00:01:45.32,00:01:50.52
Oh Azeem! Oh Azeem..[br][br]Oh Omar!

00:01:51.62,00:01:56.02
You are funny man.. you are funny, funny man..[br][br]No, no, you are funny

00:01:58.62,00:02:01.42
Alright! I see some oil! Let's get it!

00:02:01.52,00:02:04.22
Ooh.. the black liquid of freedom and peace!

00:02:05.12,00:02:10.22
If Allah is on our side, and Allah is the creator of all things..

00:02:10.32,00:02:14.12
why does he create bombs that fall on our houses?

00:02:14.32,00:02:19.32
Well Azeem, there is like a very good answer to that..

00:02:19.62,00:02:21.92
but I have to go over there now

00:02:25.02,00:02:29.72
Capturing the oil! Preserving and spreading freedom by capturing the oil!

00:02:29.92,00:02:32.02
Oh I love freedom!

00:02:32.13,00:02:37.03
Uhh.. excuse me, but that is our oil.. what are you doing?

00:02:37.93,00:02:41.73
Hey you! Stop! That is our oil!

00:02:42.33,00:02:47.63
Hey.. that's a towel-head! I saw them on Fox! Let's blast 'em!

00:02:48.43,00:02:51.93
I am unarmed! I am unarmed! Help me!

00:02:51.93,00:02:55.23
Omar! Omar! Where are you Omar? Help me!

00:02:55.23,00:02:56.93
Total maphacker!

00:02:57.63,00:02:59.83
Hello Azeem! Are you ok?

00:02:59.83,00:03:01.63
I heard you cry for help

00:03:01.73,00:03:06.23
Oh.. we did it now.. we killed one of the purple people!

00:03:06.83,00:03:11.63
Man down! Man down! I am engaging the enemy!

00:03:11.84,00:03:15.14
Requesting air support!

00:03:16.34,00:03:19.24
This is Alpha 1 Niner on attack approach..

00:03:19.24,00:03:21.84
we gonna drop some bombs.. gonna bomb these m_________ers!

00:03:21.94,00:03:27.44
and the net.. he's all shooting the puck eh[br][br]oh yeah eh that was great eh

00:03:29.34,00:03:30.84
was in the net..[br][br]yeah cause y'know..

00:03:32.34,00:03:36.94
totally puck was in the net eh[br][br]it was in the net! it was in the net! so good eh..

00:03:43.54,00:03:49.04
Uh oh! You bombed the Canadians! You were supposed to bomb the pink base!

00:03:49.34,00:03:52.74
Kyle- no, stop.. Kyle.. no this like isn't funny like at all..

00:03:52.74,00:03:57.64
it's like kinda dumb and I'd like to maybe get my computer back so I can like do some real stuff, y'know?

00:03:57.64,00:04:00.34
- No, no, no, Jeremy, trust me.. it'll be good, we're almost done

00:04:00.35,00:04:03.75
No I think it's not.. I'll show you what funny is ok.. this is funny right here

00:04:03.75,00:04:04.75
See that?

00:04:04.75,00:04:07.75
That's a Nuke Overlord and.. Oh is that your guy?

00:04:07.75,00:04:12.05
Oh! Oh! I'm so sorry![br][br]- Jeremy stop it!

00:04:12.05,00:04:17.45
You like that? Oh you want more of that? Oh I know you like that Kyle..[br][br]- Jeremy what are you doing? No..

00:04:17.85,00:04:19.45
- Mom said you have to help me!

00:04:20.95,00:04:24.05
* I am the pwnage! b____es! *

00:04:29.95,00:04:34.15
(Subtitle Translations by Your Name)

00:04:35.05,00:04:40.15
f___in'.. lose to a f___in' noob! I'm just a f___in' noob!

00:04:40.55,00:04:43.15
Maybe I'll just build 3 dozers!

00:04:45.06,00:04:46.96
- Dave.. what's going on?

00:04:47.06,00:04:48.86
He lost to a noob

00:04:48.96,00:04:50.36
- What?

00:04:50.66,00:04:53.46
Yeah man, you don't want to go in there

00:05:02.36,00:05:03.86
"The next day"

00:05:03.96,00:05:05.76
- Jeremy?

00:05:08.06,00:05:09.76
- Jeremy?

00:05:17.36,00:05:18.36
p___ off

00:05:18.96,00:05:22.46
- Dude 1 loss isn't so bad.. it's just 1 guy

00:05:24.27,00:05:29.07
Yeah thanks for the lessons on like pro gaming there Kyle..

00:05:29.57,00:05:33.97
I really appreciate your expert opinion but..

00:05:33.97,00:05:38.47
you can just p___ off with the rest of the noobs ok? You don't even..

00:05:38.57,00:05:43.17
you don't know and stuff.. I pwn! I pwn noobs!

00:05:43.17,00:05:47.17
If these noobs pwn me y'know.. what am I?

00:05:47.47,00:05:53.47
- Dude it was only 1 flame tank, it's nothing to worry about.. you could've got that flame tank

00:05:55.57,00:06:00.07
Could've got the flame tank Kyle.. could've got the flame tank..

00:06:00.87,00:06:04.77
I just didn't.. I didn't get it..

00:06:05.47,00:06:07.37
I just let it take out my whole base..

00:06:08.67,00:06:11.87
I was micro'ing on like 3 fronts..

00:06:14.18,00:06:19.38
I just wasn't thinking.. took out my whole base.. lost to a noob

00:06:19.78,00:06:23.68
1 flame tank and your life changes right

00:06:24.28,00:06:26.28
It's tough sometimes..

00:06:26.58,00:06:30.38
You don't understand.. you and all the other noobs, you don't understand!

00:06:30.38,00:06:32.08
I'm PRO!

00:06:32.28,00:06:37.98
The boards Kyle.. I read what all the noobs say..

00:06:38.28,00:06:43.28
and I know they're laughing at me! They think y'know.. this is all supposed to be a joke!

00:06:43.28,00:06:45.18
Y'know I'm trying to help 'em out..

00:06:45.18,00:06:48.08
by showing 'em how much I pwn

00:06:48.58,00:06:52.18
Then they just laugh y'know.. they're all laughing and think I'm a joke y'know

00:06:52.19,00:06:55.99
- Jeremy.. I think you need to go see the Masterer

00:06:58.59,00:07:02.19
Ok.. Ok

00:07:06.49,00:07:09.69
The sun Kyle.. it burns!

00:07:10.79,00:07:15.49
It's like.. kinda like the lava in Metroid, y'know?

00:07:33.19,00:07:34.89
- Jeremy what are you doing?

00:07:35.39,00:07:38.29
I'm just practicing my micro Kyle.. I'm just practicing my micro y'know..

00:07:38.29,00:07:43.09
'cause I'm a noob right.. gotta practice my micro[br][br]- Jeremy there's no time! We have to go!

00:07:43.99,00:07:50.49
Totally like Pong y'know like.. totally pwned that game when I was like 2 or something

00:07:51.89,00:07:54.59
- Jeremy! Jeremy don't look! Don't look!

00:07:55.89,00:07:59.99
Hey a__holes I did your interview, where's my 20 bucks?!

00:08:00.60,00:08:03.40
What are we running from Kyle?

00:08:07.80,00:08:10.40
Kyle who was that?

00:08:10.40,00:08:13.30
What's like 20 bucks? What's she talking about?

00:08:13.40,00:08:16.50
- Oh that's nothing, don't worry about that..

00:08:18.60,00:08:20.50
- Jeremy how far is this place?

00:08:20.60,00:08:23.70
Y'know it's like just up here and stuff

00:08:27.40,00:08:29.50
- Are you sure this is the way?

00:08:29.60,00:08:32.50
Yeah.. yeah this is the way..

00:08:39.10,00:08:42.30
I'm here like to see like the Masterer

00:08:42.90,00:08:45.00
Upstairs

00:08:50.21,00:08:51.81
- Is this it?

00:08:52.51,00:08:55.71
Yeah.. this is it

00:08:58.41,00:09:00.41
You're gonna have to like wait here

00:09:00.91,00:09:03.31
- What am I supposed to do?

00:09:03.51,00:09:05.91
Do whatever noobs do

00:09:29.91,00:09:33.71
I know you.. you are teh_pwnerer, are you not?

00:09:33.91,00:09:37.21
Yeah like.. I'm teh_pwnerer and stuff

00:09:37.51,00:09:44.91
You are aware that I will contact you when I feel you are ready for the next level of training?

00:09:45.01,00:09:47.51
Well y'know like I know that right..

00:09:47.51,00:09:50.11
Why have you come here?

00:09:50.92,00:09:55.22
Well y'know I just thought I'd come here and maybe we'd talk about strats and stuff..

00:09:55.22,00:10:00.82
maybe y'know I'd get some extra training.. and that would be cool and stuff

00:10:00.92,00:10:06.62
What is the point of discussing strats that are clearly beyond your comprehension?

00:10:06.72,00:10:10.22
Do you mean to imply that you are my strategic equal?

00:10:10.32,00:10:11.22
No

00:10:11.22,00:10:20.92
Have you forgotten that I beat both Gary Kasporov and Deep Blue with nothing more than a row of p___s and a single bishop?

00:10:21.52,00:10:23.72
No like.. I know

00:10:23.82,00:10:25.82
I will forgive the insult!

00:10:25.92,00:10:32.12
You are fortunate that I am still willing to share with you my incredibly vast knowledge

00:10:32.32,00:10:35.32
Do you wish to continue as my pupil?

00:10:35.52,00:10:38.22
Yeah like I totally do! like..

00:10:38.32,00:10:41.42
I wanna become like uber-pro like you and stuff

00:10:41.42,00:10:47.42
Then do not deceive me.. tell me truthfully why you have come here

00:10:50.62,00:10:53.82
well y'know I like uhh..

00:10:55.72,00:10:58.32
I lost to a noob

00:11:06.22,00:11:10.82
You are certain of this? Your opponent was not pro?

00:11:10.92,00:11:15.22
Yeah.. yeah, he was a.. he was a big noob

00:11:15.92,00:11:19.02
Let me see your micro

00:11:31.53,00:11:33.73
Not bad..

00:11:34.13,00:11:38.63
What you have come to realize is that even when one is pro..

00:11:38.63,00:11:42.43
under certain circumstances one can be.. a noob

00:11:42.53,00:11:46.63
You are now ready for the next level of training

00:11:46.83,00:11:50.93
But like how could I lose to a noob y'know.. I'm like a Pro!

00:11:52.43,00:11:55.23
Y'know.. it's not right.. and stuff

00:11:55.23,00:11:58.63
There is a way always to pwn

00:11:58.93,00:12:03.03
Let me ask you this.. what games do you play?

00:12:03.43,00:12:08.23
Well.. y'know I like totally pwn Zero Hour and stuff right

00:12:08.23,00:12:10.93
What other games do you play?

00:12:11.24,00:12:18.74
Well like.. just Zero Hour right now.. I totally wanna pwn that and stuff

00:12:18.84,00:12:25.04
What you must realize is that a true pwner pwns all games

00:12:25.44,00:12:28.44
If one wants to truly pwn..

00:12:28.74,00:12:32.04
one must pwn in ALL games!

00:12:32.54,00:12:36.64
Come.. we must begin your training immediately

00:12:49.64,00:12:52.84
Clear your mind of all things..

00:12:52.84,00:12:56.14
focus on.. the micro

00:14:27.64,00:14:32.44
If you eat like a noob, you will be pwned like a noob

00:14:33.54,00:14:36.64
Pick up the controller!

00:16:56.54,00:16:58.94
* Micro Style *

00:17:26.75,00:17:29.15
* Console Style *

00:17:33.85,00:17:36.25
* Arcade Style *

00:18:08.35,00:18:10.05
- Jeremy

00:18:10.15,00:18:13.45
- Jeremy!

00:18:13.65,00:18:15.35
- What are doing?

00:18:15.35,00:18:17.15
What? I'm sleeping..

00:18:17.25,00:18:21.65
- You're sleeping in the hall, that must be the most uncomfortable sleep

00:18:22.45,00:18:25.55
- What happened to your shirt?

00:18:31.75,00:18:34.05
There's something I gotta go do Kyle

00:18:34.95,00:18:39.15
* It's something that I have to do *

00:18:40.06,00:18:44.26
* I feel like pwning noobs *

00:18:48.66,00:18:52.86
* The time of my defeat is through *

00:18:53.66,00:18:57.86
* I'm totally gonna pwn you *

00:19:02.36,00:19:06.56
* Instead of my fingers I'll use my toes *

00:19:09.66,00:19:13.86
* I'll still play way better than you *

00:19:16.86,00:19:20.46
* That's what I'll do *

00:20:09.36,00:20:13.56
* I feel like pwning noobs! *

00:20:18.46,00:20:21.96
If one wants to truly pwn..

00:20:21.96,00:20:26.16
one must pwn in ALL games..

00:20:35.47,00:20:38.77
I'd like to buy Half-Life 2..

00:20:48.47,00:20:53.37
Stupid Sgt. Wong.. always making me come out here looking for white monkeys

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