I was Union Jack'd, Kerouac'd,
John Birch'd, stopped and searched,
Rolling Stoned and Beatled till I'm blind.
I've been Ayn Randed, nearly branded
Communist 'cause I'm lefthanded:
That's the hand I use, well, never mind!

I've been Walt Disney'd, Dis Disley'd,
John Lennon'd, Krishna Menon'd.
Walter Brennan punched out Cassius Clay.
I've heard the truth from Lenny Bruce,
and all my wealth won't buy me health,
So I smoke a pint of tea a day.

I knew a man, his brain's so small,
He couldn't think of nothin' at all.
He's not the same as you and me,
Doesn't dig poetry.
He's so unhip
That when you say Dylan,
He thinks you're talkin' about Dylan Thomas,
Whoever he is.
The man ain't got no culture,
But its alright, Ma,
It's just sumpthin' I learned over in England.

I've been James Joyced, Rolls Royced,
Mick Jagger'd, Silver Dagger'd.
Andy Warhol won't you please come home?
I've been mother, fathered, aunt and uncled,
Tom Wilsoned and Art Garfunkled.
Barry Kornfeld's mother's on the phone

When in London, do as I do,
Find yourself a friendly haiku,
Go to sleep for ten or fifteen years.

See also:
JustSomeLyrics
98
98.108
Simple Plan - [Still Not Getting Any...] Welcome To My Life ** Lyrics
Puff Daddy f Come With Me Lyrics