Does anybody know how long to World War Three?
I wanna know, I've gotta book me holidee.
They want me in the army, but I just can't go,
I'm far too busy listening to the radio

The whole thing's daft, I don't know why.
You have to laugh, or else you cry,
You have to live or else you die.
You have to laugh or else you cry.

My friends say that we're heading for a grotty time, It's just a load of slapstick in a pantomime.
We're heading for disaster, but I just don't care.
Shut your eyes and count to ten, you won't be there.

The whole thing's daft, I don't know why.
You have to laugh, or else you cry,
You have to live or else you die.
You have to laugh or else you cry.

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