ApologetiX Hotel Can't Afford Ya (parody of "Hotel California" By The Eagles) Lyrics

From a dark desert highway we pulled into the inn
Rome called for a census -- I was from Bethlehem
Up above from a distance a star was giving me light
My wife was heavy cause her child was due -- We had to stop for the night
So we stood in the doorway of Bethlehem Hotel
And I was thinking to myself, "I hope to Heaven they'll give me some help"
But they told us no-can-do and they sent me away
"There's a place around the corner though where you both can stay"
Welcome, but the hotel can't afford ya
Such a lovely place but we're out of s___e
Ran out of room and the hotel can't afford ya
It's the time of year -- with the census here
My wife was definitely gifted -- That's what the Lord's angel said
She was about to have a baby boy while still virgin
Spent the night in a barnyard -- cheap slumlord's rent
Some night to remember -- some night to forget
So because of what happened I was grieving for my wife
I said, they probably haven't cleaned in here since B.C. 65
Animal voices were calling for straw and hay
Keep you up through the middle of the night just as if to say
Welcome, but the hotel can't afford ya
It's a lovely place, but we're out of s___e
Holiday rush and the hotel can't afford ya
What a nice surprise for your silent night
He was born that evening and shepherds came that night
And they said, We are all just visitors here -- of the Holy Christ
And in an a__'s manger, they found the boy asleep
They started gettin' teary eyed so they went back to their sheep
Last thing I remember there were wise men at the door
They had a bunch of packages from the place they were before
We're late, said the wise men, We had problems Christmas Eve
We've been checking out your shiny light all through the Middle East