ApologetiX Monkey Scheme (parody of "Theme from the Monkees" by the Monkees) Lyrics
Here they come -- talkin' down at me -- I get the funniest looks 'cause -- I said I don't believe
They say we were monkeys -- They think they're sayin' something profound
But where's their missing link at? There weren't any bodies found
They built a man from a hog's tooth -- They called a lie the truth
And any time they get busted -- They sell you something new
They say we were monkeys -- I think that they've been monkeyin' around
Cause they're too busy changin' their books and their studies 'round
They're just tryin' to defend it -- they got a lot to re-explain
Where they've done excavation -- they keep uncoverin' mistakes
Any time -- or anywhere -- Just look over the boulders -- You'll see that man's been there
They say we were monkeys -- I think their heads are stuck in the ground
Cause they're too busy diggin' and putting the Bible down
SPOKEN:
Java Man was the skull of a gibbon; Nebraska Man was the tooth of a pig and
The Piltdown Man was a lowdown sham; They built that man from an organutan
Ramapithicus wasn't complete; He's a fragment of jaw and a couple of teeth
Addition skeletons show us today that he isn't our relative -- only an ape
Australapithicus alias Lucy, The fossil of this is just vague and confusing
The wonderful knee bone they're proud to possess was 200 feet deeper -- a mile from the rest
Neanderthal Man was prob'ly deficient in Vitamin D or it might've been rickets
But he had religion and musical instruments, fire and tools and from you he's no different
They say we were monkeys but people came from dust in the ground
But they're too busy thinkin' to look into what we've found
They're just kinda pretending, but I know why they seem afraid
If we come from creation, you need God's son to be saved
They say we were monkeys but there was no evidence found
Still you'd better get ready -- They'll make it up anyh
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