ApologetiX The Real Sin Savior (parody of "The Real Slim Shady" by Eminem) Lyrics

May I have your repentance please? May I have your repentance please?
Will you tell Him "Save me" and please stand up?
I repeat: will you tell Him "Save me" and please stand up?
We're gonna have to prod them here
Y'all act like you never seen a nice person before, you oughta hope in the Lord
Your panting tongue is just thirstin' for more
You started lookin' around searchin' cause you're
Uncertain you're sure you know where you're goin' eternally
If you return to God ... ah, wait, no, wait, we're sinning
We couldn't get saved with the things we did, can we?
And Dr. J. says -- nothing you did is such a grave sin it costs you salvation
Ha Ha - Heavenly livin's above every man
"Chick-a-chick-a-chick-a he's crazy! I'm sick of them 'born agains'
Walkin' around askin' if you know God - speakin' of You Know Who
Yeah, but there's no proof though"
Yeah, probably got a couple of you who think I lack proof
But no worse than what's goin' on in America's classrooms
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just spread the truth
But can't -- but the school can tell me we come from evolution
"My mama was a fish -- my mama was a fish
"And if we're monkeys you might as well forget original sin!"
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to question on their own if God exists
Of course they're gonna wonder if the Lord's fake by the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Easter Bunny and Santa don't they? We ain't shinin' examples
Well some of the scandals are caused by people posin' as evangelists
But if Jesus loved His enemies and Pharisees
Then there's no reason that you can't get another chance and believe
But if you feel a slight chill, I got the anti-freeze
This is not a fantasy, it's important and it's free
I've sinned greatly, but Christ's for real, baby
It's a wonder He saved me and just didn't hate me
So won't you tell Him "Save me," please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
Yes, I've been crazy, yes, I've been real shady
Always wanted Him to save me, but just didn't say it
So won't you tell Him "Save me," please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
Will Smith don't gotta discuss the Christian path to salvation
Well, I do -- it affects him and affects you too
You think I give a care of he likes my parodies
Half of you kiddies won't even look at me, let alone stare at me
But J., what if we pray? Wouldn't we be weird?
Why? Would you guys reject Christ just to fit with your peers
So you can live in fear for the next 60 years? This ain't imaginary, better get prepared
The price of sin yes it costs us dearly with death first
And when that part is over if you ain't saved it gets much worse
Little chance they'll put me now on MTV
Yeah, it's true, but I think he'd scare all the kids -- ree ree!
I said now's when they oughta know and John 3:3
It shows the whole world how they need born again to be free
I'm singin' you little girls and boys spoofs -- all you do is ignore me
Though I have been sent here to inform you
And there's a million of us just like me you judge like me
Were just like triple fudge ice cream; we're just quite sweet
You watch Saul in Acts 9:3, you just might see you're just like him, you're not fightin' me
I've sinned greatly, but Christ He still saved me
From a hundred temptations and death, sin and Hades
So won't you tell Him "Save me," please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
Yes, my sinned shamed me, yet I've been healed lately
God the Father forgave me from messin' with Satan
So won't you tell Him "Save me," please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
I'm like a breath mint you listen to but I'm only givin' you
Things you thought about in your head with my religious group
The only difference is I got the call to say it in front of y'all
And I don't gotta be Paul -- the Book I quote has it all
I just get out a Bible and read it and whether you like it you need it
As sure as I can see that better than 90 percent of you happen to doubt me
Then you wonder how can kids give up their values I tell you it's funny
Cause at the place I'm goin' when I'm buried
I'll see the only person in the world I know who's worthy
He's the first and last and I'm J. Jackson I'm the worst
And I'm a jerk and Jesus knows that but my braggin' wasn't workin'
And every single person needs a sin savior urgently
You could be working on a burglary or sittin' in a nunnery
Or keepin' part of the law perfectly screamin' "I don't sin that much"
Puttin' Christians down sayin' "It's just a crutch"
So if you're still waiting please stand up 'cause this wonderful singer's time is eaten up
And it's time to get off your behind and out of the row
Come on down -- now is your chance -- how do I know? CHORUS
I guess there's a sin Savior for all of us - Let's all stand up