To surf on the net, or to surf TV channels,
Over and over, there's been one request:
It's Xena we want, the Warrior Princess,
At least Gabrielle, and we want them undressed.
Now, I have to admit, they're not unattractive,
But if we're talking fantasies, I want the best.

Aye, Callisto, I think that I love you,
You psycho b____ leather queen killer bombshell.
Hai, Callisto, I sing to your spirit,
I'm doing it now, 'cause you're going to Hell.

Ai-yi-yi!
Whoh-ooh-ohh...
Ai-yi-yi!
Whoh-ooh-ohh...

I've noticed a trend in the Xena fan-fiction:
Our heroes are lesbians, friendly and more...
Meanwhile, on the show, they're all into bondage,
Shackles, and leather, and s__ on the floor.
If these two trends combine, we'll get... Mistress Callisto...
Enslaving our heroes...
... the ratings will soar!

Aye, Callisto, put Xena in irons,
I hope you take Gabrielle over your knee,
But, why, Callisto, does Xena obsess you?
You do it to her, but I wish it was me.

Aye, Callisto, I think that I love you,
You psycho b____ leather queen killer bombshell.
Hai, Callisto, I sing to your spirit,
An hour with you would be worth any Hell.

Ai-yi-yi!
I-I-olous -- wait, that's the other show...
Ai-yi-yi!
Whoh-ooh-ohh...

... That extra verse I mentioned above? Found it....

She once was a babe, a blonde in black leather,
A s__ier snuff queen you never would find;
But then came the plots where Xena redeems her,
And now she's all gentle and loving and kind;
Her wings are a joke, and her robes sure are glowing,
Some jerkface producer is out of his mind....

Aiee, Callisto, you're Touched By An Angel,
A cloying self-righteous defender of peace,
I, Callisto, speak for your male viewers:
Corrupt Roma Downey and dump Della Reese.

See also:
JustSomeLyrics
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100.68
Don Lunfardo Y El Señor Otario El Ultimo Mate Amargo Lyrics
Naranjos Viejo jugador Lyrics