I try to look discerning
But I look disgusting
I try to look at her
But she looks away
I'm sitting at a party
And I'm pushing 30
If I don't dance
I probably won't get laid

Now I don't think you really know
What I'm doing with you I don't know
You're not my mother
And you're not my girl
You're getting in my way
You're getting in my way

The kids wear fantastic plastic
Knock back shots and then go spastic
OD in the lavatory and come back home in body bags
Of fantastic plastic

All the fighters
Are not invited
But they'll be there when it's over
With drug takers
And skirt chasers
And technicolour drag queens

The pony-tailed has-beens
The metalheads and the wannabes
But you are locked out
And you have lucked out
You can light the fuse
Begin the abuse

Kids swipe their fantastic plastic
Tie that knot with cheap elastic
Go to the moon
And come back home in body bags
Of fantastic plastic...

The MC boys go to Galle face green
With pre-p___scent party girls s_______ the club scene
They drive to Pilla, make their engines scream
Pretend their Mazdas are Maseratis

Pubs play Hotel California
Summer of 69 for the 69th time
And I can't believe that I'm dancing to this c___
Cos it's lame
And it all sounds the same
So crucify the DJ

Kids drive their fantastic plastic
Pop their pills and then get car sick
Drag race and come back home in body bags
Of Fantastic Plastic...

Shrink wrapped in Fantastic Plastic
Meat packed in Fantastic Plastic
Hijack your Fantastic Plastic
Choke back your Fantastic Plastic

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