Alice Bowie / Cheech & Chong Earache My Eye - Featuring Alice Bowie Lyrics

(Alarm clock rings. Son wakes up and plays song below on vinyl record.
Does anyone remember those?)

SONG

My momma talkin' to me tryin' to tell me how to live
But I don't listen to her 'cause my head is like a sieve
My daddy, he disowned me 'cause I wear my sister's clothes
He caught me in the bathroom with a pair of pantyhose

My basketball coach, he done kicked me off the team
For wearin' high-heel sneakers and actin' like a queen

The world's comin' to an end, I don't even care
As long as I can have a limo and my orange hair
And it don't bother me if people think I'm "funny"
'Cause I'm a big rock star and I'm makin' lots of money
money, money, money, money, money, money
Ahhh! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...

I'm so b_____ rich! Ha ha ha ha
I own apartment buildings and shopping centers! Ha ha ha ha
And I only know three chords! Ha ha ha ha
Watch me burn, you fools!!!!!!

SKIT

(Father bursts into room)

F: I said turn that thing down and get ready for school.
(needle scratching record)
S: Hey!!!!!!! You ruined my record man, I just bought it.
F: I don't care what you just bought! You get your little
f____ perpendicular and get ready for school!
S: I'm not going to school.
F: What do you mean you're not going to school.
S: Just what I said, I'm not going to school.
F: And why not?
S: Cause I'm sick that's why not.
F: Sick. You're sick all right. What's wrong with you now,
Prince Charming
S: I've got an earache
F: E..E..Earache my eye, how would you like a b___ache?
Now get your little f____ out of that bed and clean up this
room, it looks like a pig sty. You hear me?
S: (makes pig sounds)
F: All right, that's enough. That's enough.
You pushed me far enough, young man.
You're getting punished. Now stand up.
S:No!
F: I said stand up!
F: Now young man, I have talked to you and talked
to you and talked to you till I'm blue in the face and
I'm done talking to you!
S: Good, does that mean you're done spitting on me too?
F: Shut up, I'm not done talking to you. Now turn around
and bend over.
S: W-What are you going to do, you pervert?
F: Pervert? Why you snotty......
S: Ow ow ow ow ow!!!!!
F: Will you shut up, I haven't even touched you yet.
I want you to know that this is gonna hurt you a lot
more than it's gonna hurt me. (slap)
S: Oh wow, that didn't even hurt
F: Oh yeah? (bigger slap)
S: Oh wow, what are you trying to do, tickle me?
F: Tickle you? Yeah, I'll tickle you. (even bigger slap)
how does that tickle huh? (slap again) laugh it up boy
(slap again)
S: (Cries of extreme pain) no more, no more, no more
F: Allright, now, are you gonna do what I tell you?
S: Yeah, yeah, yeah
F: Are you gonna talk back to me?
S: Yeah, yeah, yeah
F: What?!
S: I mean no, no, no, no
F: All right, now you get your clothes on and get
your little b___ ready for school right now, do you understand?
S: Yeah (whimper)
F: All right.

(Father leaves room)

(Sound of son putting record back on.)