(announcer) Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Velma Kelley in and act--of desperation.

My sister and I had an act that couldn't flop.
My sister and I were headed straight for the top.
My sister and I earned a thou a week, at least-- oh yeah.
But my sister is now, unfortunately, deceased.
I know it's sad, of course, but a fact is still a fact:
And now all that remains
is the remains
of a perfect double act.

(spoken) Watch this.Now you have to imagine it with two people-- it's swell with two people.

First I'd--
Then she'd--
Then we'd--
But I can't do it alone.

Then she'd--
Then I'd--
Then we'd--
But I can't do it alone.

She'd say,"What's your sister like?"
I'd say "Men..."
She'd say "You're the cat's meow!"
Then we'd wow the crowd again
When she'd go--
I'd go--
We'd go--
Then those ding-dong daddies started to roar!
Whistled, stomped, stamped on the floor,
yellin', screamin' begging for more--
And we'd say 'Ok fellas, keep your socks up,
'cause you ain't seen nothin' yet."

But I simply cannot do it alone!
(spoken) So what do you think, huh?
Come on, you can say...
(Roxie blows raspberry)
(spoken) I know. You're right. The first part's s**t.
But the second part--the second part is really nifty!
(sighs) Ok,

She'd go--
I'd go--
We'd go--

And then those two-bit Johnnys did it up brown
to cheer the best attraction in town.
They nearly tore the balcony down!!
And we'd say "OK fellas, we're going home, but before we go,
here's a few more parting shots!"
And this, this we did in perfect unison!--

Now you've seen me going through it
You may think there's nothin' to it,
But I simply cannot do it aloooooooooooooone!

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