Archibald: One day while he was waiting for the trolley, he had a hat.

Larry: My high silk hat.

Archibald: He wore it high upon his head so proudly, a beautiful hat.

Larry: My high silk hat.

Archibald: A hat like this just makes him feel so grandly, now fancy this, and fancy that. The splendor of his hat in all it's majesty...

Larry: Like a king in a royal cap. I feel so swell and handsome in my hat, I bet that others wish they had in fact...

Larry & Archibald: A hat as this, a hat as that, a hat so fine, a high silk hat.

Larry: Oh Mr. Art Bigotti, now what do you think of that?

Archibald: Now his hat was not all he wore so proudly. I must in fact, share more than that. For upon his lap there sat a treat so fondly, of chocolate this...

Larry: and chocolate that.

Archibald: Deliciousness that makes him feel so dandy, a chocolate bliss...

Larry: a chocolate snack.

Choir: Confections such as these are more than candy, somewhat like life, a box of that.

Larry: I have my chocolate placed upon my lap. I feel so good; you just cannot top that.

Larry & Choir: I have my snack, a chocolate pack, of chocolate this and chocolate that.

Larry: Oh golly Mr. Nezzer, now what do you think of that?

Archibald: Now time was passing and the sun grew hotter, upon his hat...

Choir: and his chocolate snack.

Archibald: So beneath his hat he thought and pondered.

Larry: What should I do, to save my hat?

Archibald: He thought, and contemplated as he perspired, beneath his hat.

Choir: Upon his lap.

Archibald: He feared his chocolate treats would soon retire, into a pool...

Choir: a chocolate vat.

Larry & Choir: I won't feel grand if I take off my hat. The sun's getting hot and my hat just might go flat. My hat, it might go flat, and my sweets will melt like that...

Larry: Oh hurry Mr. Trolley before my dapperness goes flat.

Archibald: He decided to forego his looks so dashing, to save his hat...

Jean Claude: and little snack.

Archibald: So he placed the treats upon the seat beside him...

Nezzer: and put his hat on top of that.

Larry: Oh please!

Choir: Oh please, oh please!

Larry: Don't anybody sit close to me, upon my hat. I ask, if all of you could be so kindly, and just stand back, away from my snack!

A great big squash just sat upon my heat. A great big squash just squished my hat real flat. He squashed my hat, he made it flat, he squished my snack, oh what of that? Oh tell me anybody, now what do you think of that?

Choir: A great big squash just sat upon his hat. A great big enormous squash squished his hat real flat. He squashed his hat, he made it flat, he squished his snack, oh what of that?

Larry: Oh golly, uh... what is your name?

Scallion #1: They've never given me a name. I have been around since show one and I still don't have a name.

Larry & Choir: Now what do you think of that?

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