I know you smoke, I know you drink that brew,
I just can't abide a sinner like you.
God can't either, that's why I know it's true,
That Jesus loves me but he can't stand you.

I'm going straight to heaven, boys, when I die,
'cause I've crossed every T and I've dotted every I
Why, my preacher tells me I'm god's kind of guy,
That's why Jesus loves me, but you're gonna fry.

God loves all his children, by gum,
That doesn't mean he won't incinerate some,
Can't you feel those hot flames licking you?

I'm raising my kids in a righteous way,
So don't be bringing your kids to my house to play,
Yours will grow up stoned, left leaning and gay,
I know - Jesus told me on the phone today.

Jesus loves me, this I know
And he told me where you're gonna go,
There's room for your kind down below
Whoa, whoa, whoa

Jesus loves me, he loves me real good. I know he does. He called me up on the phone today and told me how much he loves me. He said, "Son, I love you." He speaks English pretty well, considering it's a second language for him. You can talk to him, too, you know. I've got a 900- number in Tulsa you can call him at, I do it all the time. He'll be glad to hear from you. I talk to him everyday.

Jesus love me, but he can't stand you.

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