I hollered "hey honey, I'm home"
Like I do every day at four
But the TV ain't on and the car is gone,
She must be at the store
Then I spied this piece of paper
It looked like a list of things to do
But when I got down to number six
I realized we were through

(One) The plumber couldn't make it today,
(Two) I've decided that I'm going away
(Three) The dog's at the vet the hearing is set
Do you see what I'm trying to say
(Five) Don't forget to take out the trash,
(Six) I'm sorry but I'm not coming back
You can't sugar coat what she really wrote
Now ain't that a hell of a note

I just stood there and scratched my head,
And my chin dropped to the floor
But not even a tear after all these years,
I expected a little bit more
I was countin' on grabbin' a good, cold beer
Stretchin' out on the couch
But she went by the numbers
And I got counted out

(One) The plumber couldn't make it today,
(Two) I've decided that I'm going away
(Three) The dog's at the vet the hearing is set
Do you see what I'm trying to say
(Five) Don't forget to take out the trash,
(Six) I'm sorry but I'm not coming back
You can't sugar coat what she really wrote
Ain't that a hell of a note

Ah, ain't that a hell of a note

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