Ladies And Gentlemen,
I give you Sherrif Fatman

Now, Sherrif Fatman started out is business as a granny farmer
He was infamous for fifteen minutes
And he appeared on Panorama
Then he somehow got himself on board the Starship Enterprise Allowance Scheme
With a Prince of Wales Award
For pushing valium and amphetamines

Moving Up on Second Base
Behind Nicholas Van What's-His-Face
At six foot six
And 100 Tons
The undisputed King of the Slums
With more alias' than Klaus Barbie
the Master Butcher of Leigh on Sea
Just about to take the stage
The one and only - hold the front page

Fatman's got something to sell
To the Capital's homeless
A Crossroad's Motel
For the No Fixed Abodeless
Where you can live life in style
If you sleep in a closet
And if you flash him a smile
He'll take your teeth as deposit

There's bats in the belfrey
The windows are jammed
The toilet's ain't healthy
He don't give a d___
Just chuckles and smiles
Laughs like a madman
A born again Ratman
Here comes Sherrif Fatman

With his valium, amphetamines
Sicknotes and his phoney prescriptions
And just when you thought it was safe to go back to the kitchen
Dead heads and cracked heads
Bunk beds and breakfasts
Wake up you sleepyheads
Check this

Moving up on second base
behind Nicholas Van What's-His-Face
At six foot six
And 100 tons
The undisputed King of the Slums
With more alias' than Klaus Barbie
The Master Butcher of Leigh on Sea
Just about to take the stage
The only and only hold the front page

Moving up now to take the place
of Nicholas Van What's-His-Face
At six foot six
And 100 tons
The undisputed King of the Slums
More alias' than Klaus Barbie
The Master Butcher of Leigh on Sea
In a hatchback from Notre Dam
The one and only Sherrif Fatman

In goes another left hook
And now I'm losing my patience
Someone call up Roger Cook and the United Nations
He's buying up houses for hasbeens and helping
From Lands End to Southend to Chelsea

There's bats in the belfrey
The windows are jammed
The toilets ain't healthy
He don't give a d___
He just chuckles and smiles
And laughs like a madman
Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you...

Sheriff Fatman!

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