Last night at the pub I met my cousin Rory
It was a good day for me so I drank the pints away
And when I arrived home, my babe she was a waiting
I couldn't understand it why she smacked me in the face

Well nine the next morning she sent me to the job centre
They asked me what I do, I said I didn't have a trade
They said come back tomorow, I said no problem officer
So I went back to the pub and I put the pints away

REFRAIN:
Get up out of bed you drunken' lazy b______
You drink all night and you sleep all day
Get up out of bed you drunken' lazy b______
If you don't get off your a___, then I'll be on my way

When I arrived home, my babe already left me
She saw me in the boozer in the middle of the day
Well I guess that's the end of our twenty year marriage
So I went back to the pub and I put the pints away

REFRAIN:

Last night at the pub I saw my cousin Rory
I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw who he had at bay
The b______ had my wife that's not the end of the story
The dirty drunken b______ drinks twice as much as me!

REFRAIN

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