I
I tell you a story that happened to me
One day as I went down to Youghal by the sea.
The sun it was bright and the day it was warm.
Says I, "A quiet pint wouldn't do me no harm."
I went in and I called for a bottle of stout.
Says the barman, "I'm sorry, the beer is sold out.
Try whiskey or Paddy, ten years in the wood."
Says I, "I 'll try cider, I hear that it's good."

Chorus:
Oh never, oh never, oh never again,
If I live to be hundred or hundred and ten
For I fell to the ground and I couldn't get up
After drinking a quart of the Johnny Jump Up.

II

After leaving the third I went to the yard
Where I b__ped into Brophy, the big civic guard.
"Come here to me boy, don't you know, I'm the law?"
I upped with my fist and I shattered his jaw.
He fell to the ground with his knees doubled up
But it wasn't I hit him, 'twas Johhny Jump Up.
The next thing I met down in Youghal by the sea
Was a criplle on crutches and says he to me,

"I'm afraid of me life I'll be hit by a car.
Won't you help me across to the Railways Men's bar?"
After drinking a quart of that cider so sweet
He throw down his crutches and danced in the street.

Chorus
III

I went up the Lee Road a friend for to see,
And they call it the mad house in Cork by the Lee,
But when I got there, the truth I do tell,
They had the poor b_____ locked up in a cell.
Said the guard, testing him "Say these words, if you can:
Around the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran."
"Tell them I'm not crazy, tell them I'm not mad.
It was only a sup of that cider I had."

Chorus
IV

A man died in the Union by the name of McNabb.
They washed him and laid him outside on a slab,
And after O'Connor his measurements did take,
His wife took him home to a b_____ fine wake.
About twelve o'clock and the beer it was high
When the corpse he sat up and says he with a sigh,
"I can't go to heaven, they won't let me up,
Till I bring them a quart of this Johnny Jump Up."

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