Weird Al Yankovic Weird Al - Constipated Lyrics

Uh huh, extra cheese.Uh huh, uh huh, save a piece for
me.Pizza party at your house,I went just to
check it out.19 extra larges,What a shame, no one
came.Just us, eatin' all alone,You said take
the pizza home.No sense lettin' all this go to
waste,So then I facedPizza all day, and
everyday, there's cheese round the clock,It's
gettin' me blocked, And I sure don't care, forirregularity.Tell me,Why'd you have to
go and make me so constipated?Cos' right now I'd
do anything to just get my bowels evacuated,In the
bathroom.I sit and I wait and I strain and I sweat and I
clench and Ifeel the painOh, should've taken
laxatives or had my colon irrigated. No, no, no.I was feelin' pretty down,'Til my girlfriend
came around.We're just so alike in every way, I gotta
say.In fact, I just thought I might,pop the question
there that night.I was kissing her so tenderly,But
woe is me.Who would have guessed, her family
crest.I suddenly spy, tattoo'd on her thigh.And
son of a gun, it's just like the one on me.Tell
me.How was I supposed to know we were both
related?Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin we never
would havedated.What to do now?Should I go
ahead and propose and get hitched and have kids with11
toes,And move to Alabama where that kind of thing is
tolerated.No, no, no.(no no no)Ooh, I had so much on my mind,I thought maybe I'd
unwind.Try out that new roller coaster ride,And the
guide...Said not to stand, but that's a
demand,That I couldn't meet, I got on my feet,And stood up instead and knocked off my head you see.Tell me.Why'd I have to go and get myself
decapitated?This really is a major inconvenience, oh man I
really hate it.It's such a drag now.I
can't eat, I can't breathe, I can't snore, I
can't belch oryodel anymore,Can't spit or
blow my nose or even read Sports Illustrated.Oh no!Why'd I have to go and get myself all mutilated?I gotta tell ya, life without a head kinda makes me
irritated.What a b__mer.I can't blink, I
can't cough, I can't sneeze.But my neck is
enjoying a pleasant breeze now.Haven't been the same
since my head and I were separated.No, no, no.