T.I.S.M. The Parable of Glenn McGrath's Haircut Lyrics

My mate Roger got a girl pregnant when he was fourteen. He was so s___ scared he told me,
and when he said that her dad was a cop I thought he was joking.
I told him he's got to tell someone,
and so he went and told a teacher,
and the girl eventually got an abortion.
He was f___ing s___ting himself, let me tell you,
but six months later he was f___ing around like always.

Ooh, aahh, Glenn McGrath

"You betta watch it" I thought to myself.
But Roger was pretty f___ing sure of himself.
He was the guy who first brought a block of hash to a
party.
Because I was his friend I was there when he first showed it to people, and we all went down the backyard and he rolled a joint.
Where did he get it from?
My parents would have killed me if they knew.
I thought we'd all turn into junkies or something if we had too much.

The last time I saw Roger was last year at the Boxing Day test.
He'd turned into such a fat, normal, yobbo c___.
"The wife nearly didn't let me out today" he said,
and he did all that chanting yobs do, like "Ooh,
Aahh, Glenn McGrath".
"It got you in the end" I thought to myself,
as I looked at Roger. "Life got you in the end, pal. You were such a c___y, successful winner when we were 16,
but now you're just another sad fat p____ sitting in the M.C.G high-fiving in self-congratulation,
as if its you that had the skill and determination to play for Australia".
Its the c___s with the bad haircuts that you've got to watch out for. There's never been a popular teenager yet who's done rat's with their life.
Its the f___ing dorks that give it a real go.
Glenn McGrath got 5 for 50 that day.