Gaberlunzie Auntie Bella Lyrics

Ever since the day ma dug ate Auntie Bella
I've been wondering just what kind of dug I've got,
For it grew up awfy big and tawny yella,
Wi a great big hairy collar round its throat.
It was just a little pup the night I picked it up;
It was wandering in the dark near a place called Calder Park -
And when people see me coming they shout "Lion!"
But I've never told a lie in all ma life.

Ever since the day ma dug ate Auntie Bella,
Things have happened in a way you won't believe.
Can A clap your dug said one wee friendly fellow;
Noo he runs aboot wi naething up his sleeve.
And when I'm signin on the Broo there's niver any queue
The man says don't come doon, we'll send yer money roon...
And when people see me coming they shout "Lion!"
But I've never told a lie in all ma life.

Ever since ma dug had Auntie for its dinner
I've been taking money off these racing mugs;
Down at Shawfield track my Fido's aye the winner,
But the trouble is, they're running short o dugs.
And when the butcher for a bet gave a sheep heid tae ma pet,
He gave a strangled yell when it chewed his heid as well -
And when people see me coming they shout "Lion!",
But I've never told a lie in all ma life.

Now I've been to France and Spain and Portobello
I've been moved on by the polis many times;
And when it rains I carry my umbrello,
But I only mention that because it rhymes.
So if you think I'm telling lies, you're in for a surprise,
If you hear a terrible roar, there's nae use bolting for the door
Or climbing on a chair, jist git doon and say your prayers -
For I've never told a lie in all my life.