He's a serious mister
Shake his hand and he'll twist your arm
With monopoly money
We'll be buying the funny farm
So I'll do flips,
And get paid in chips
From a diamond as big as the ritz--
Then I'm calling it quits

Eyes the color of candy
Lies to cover the handicap
Though your slippers are ruby
You'll be led to the b___y trap
And there's no prize,
Just a smaller size
So I'm wearing the shoe til it fits--
Then I'm calling it quits

Now he's numbering himself among the masterminds
Cause he's____ upon the leverage of valentines
Lifting dialogue from judy garland storylines
Where get-tough girls turn into goldmines

But oh, those polaroid babies
Taking chances with rabies
Happy to tear me to bits--
Well, I'm calling it quits
Yes, I'm calling it quits.

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