intro - you gonna, you gonna f__in order the curry then or what?
yeah, alright..pass me the phone clart.
y'wa...hang on mate..
whass, wha...aw, say whats the f__in number, son
yew aah, switch yer f__in phone on...c'mon..f__in, i'm staarvin'

er, allo, allo..yeah, i i i'd like to order a f.. uh...a curry please, yeah
er, chicken tikka massala, er, 4....4 pila...pilau rice's
(background - can i ave a naan bread)
aw f__in 'ell..we gotta, f__in.. naan bread as well...
uh, f.. keema nan..3...3 onion bhajis..er, f__in..an an some pepsi
yeah, yeah spa..is ..its a takeaway.

back in the port, stackin up yer bong
havin a f__in laugh and still signing on
i went to pick up a curry and they saw my capri
i payed them in draw and the keema now its free

the korma was wicked and it only cost a fiver
and they asked me to become the new delivery driver
the orders added up, two by f__in two
i can sell draw when im delivering vindaloos

when you're driving in town late at night
f__ me clarts you see some sights
wrecking it up in my capri
delivering a chicken bhuna going into Maindee

now you see me knocking out making a cut
ill give you free madras if you keeps yer mouth shut
ill bring you a curry and sell you the blow
ill put hash mix in yer bombay potatoes

chorus - chicken tikka massala chips and rice
chicken tikka massala chips and rice
chicken tikka massala chips and rice
chicken tikka massala chips and rice

i delivered the mushroom biriani to this babysitter
she invited me in and i f__ed her up the s___ter
i took a lamb madras and a quarter to Brynglas
my b____ got three ounces stuffed in her a__

she sucked me off and spat in the mint sauce
you don't wanna know what she put in the main course
chicken tikka massala delivered to 56
cause the people there are p____s
cause they never f__in tips

i delivers the curry right down pill
this bird 'ad no money so she gave me a f___ing thrilll
i closed my eyes and made a wish
i chucked my man milk up her f__in starfish

i had 10 pints and smoked some crack
now i gotta deliver a prawn dhansak
i got to the house, i was sick on the doorstep
but i made them pay cash cause i won't take a cheque

chorus - chicken tikka massala chips and rice
chicken tikka massala chips and rice
chicken tikka massala chips and rice
chicken tikka massala chips and rice

herbs and spices, deliver pills on ice
i never get c-caught like in miami vice
i get 'em really dodgy on the streets of the city
deliverin' more draw than curry...which ain't a pity

but when the filth pull me over on the hard shoulder
i gives them LSD curry and a strawberry pavlova
and i pays them off with all this cash that i rake in
the girlies love me so i'm always flicking bacon

all this mad funk, never f__in quits
ever seen someone get f__ed with a pneumatic drill in quik-fit?
i doubt it clart, now gimme the f__in money
this is some of the s___ i sees delivering curry

chorus - chicken tikka massala chips and rice
chicken tikka massala chips and rice
chicken tikka massala chips and rice
went down private-eyes and bought a special device

it wasn't very long before i got an order wrong
and my special bombay spuds turned this bloke into a mong
he started complaining when he woke up
cause it was three weeks later and he missed the world cup

he got f__ed off, i must've really bought his p___
cause i got fired next time i went into the office
they found my capri with the draw they had to seize
f___ this splew i'm off to work down the chinese

See also:
JustSomeLyrics
113
113.14
Shayne Ward No Promieses Lyrics
Scott Soper Loving and Forgiving Lyrics