Rhymenoceros:
They call me the Rhymenoceros
Not because I'm fat
Not because I've got birds on my back
But because I'm h____, I'm h____
When I'm on the mic
I'm like global warming
You can't ignore me
In the bedroom I'm the gentleman
All the ladies come before me
Check your yellow pages I'm a registered rhymenacologist
Now I'm passing over the mic to the Hiphopopotamus

Hiphopopotamus:
Yeah, they call me the Hiphopopotamus

Rhymenoceros:
Sometimes my rhymes are polite, like
"Thank you Mrs. Johnson for dinner, that was delicious, good night."
And other times, they're obscene
Like a p___ographic R-18 dream
About b____es smothered in margarine
Hahahaha
(gun sound affects)

Hiphopopotamus:
They call me the Hiphopopotamus
I've got flows that glow like phosphorous
Poppin off the top of this esophagus
I'm not a water dwelling mammal from Africa
That's moved to the metropolis and been taught how to break dance.
Where did you get the preposterous hypothesis?
Did Steve tell you that?
What's he got to do with it?
What kind of rapping name is Steve?

Together:
Other rappers diss me
Say my rhymes are sissy
What, what, what, why, why, why?

Hiphopopotamus:
Be more constructive with your feedback

Rhymenoceros:
What? 'Cause I rap about reality
Like me and my grandma having a cup of tea?

Together:
There ain't no party like my nana's tea party
Hey-ho

Hiphopopotamus:

My rhymes are so potent that in this small segment
I made all of the ladies in the first two rows pregnant
But you lovely b____es and hoes should know
I'm trying to correct this...

Rhymenoceros:
When I go "ooh" all the ladies go "ahh"
Ooh (ahh) Ooh (ahh)
When I go "ooh" all the fellas go "ar ar"
Ooh (ar ar) Ooh (ar ar)
Now keep it real s__y fellas
Ooh (ar ar) Ooh (ar ar)
That's my dogs
When I go "ooh" all the ladies go "Ooh, Flight of the Conchords, you're so big."
Ooh.

See also:
JustSomeLyrics
114
114.3
R.E.M. Rock in Rio III Daysleeper Lyrics
Marvin Gaye Don't Worry, Be Happy Lyrics