She's the slickest chick I've ever known
I take her with me wherever I go
To rope in all my fears
And open all my beers
And to never ever leave me alone.

She's tiny, shiny and bright
Almost too sharp but not quite
She does it all somehow
She's in my pocket now but I'm gonna take her out tonight.

She's my swiss-army girlfriend
Swiss-army girlfriend...
She's holding up her end
And she's all mine
So I got a valentine to send.

Do I have to draw a diagram?
When I'm out of luck or in a jam
She can get me hot
and out of tight spots
And she's ready whenever I am
She slices, dices and more
She can handle any household chore
And I love the feel
Of her stainless steel
When we're rolling all around on the floor.

She's my swiss-army girlfriend
Swiss-army girlfriend...
She's in my dresser drawer
And I'm all hers
And we've got a universe to explore.

And I love her so
Though she may never know
Just how low I would go
To keep her by my side
And open wide
For when our worlds collide.

She's the only game in town
She's a thriller that you can't put down
So enjoy this song
Because before too long
We're gonna run each other into the ground.

She's my swiss-army girlfriend
Swiss-army girlfriend...
We've barely started yet
But we're all set
And we've got a bassinet to get.

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