POD301 Lyrics

Okay, so... I'm listening to this song by Nada Surf called, "Always Love" and there's this lyric, um... "To make a mountain of your life is just a choice." Well if that's true, then lately I've been making mine into Mount Everest. There's - I don't know... a lot of stuff happening and I've been letting it get to me, so... that's what brings me here. I'll probably just delete this anyway. Um... okay. My dad said that I should talk to someone... so, I'm talking to you - all of you.
Where do I begin? Um... well, I guess until a few days ago, I thought my mom was my mom and my dad was my dad. Have you ever had something that you just - okay, you knew it was true, so then you never wondered about... it was just - it just is, and then all of sudden, it turns out to be a lie? Okay, sorry. I know this all probably making zero sense, so maybe I should back things up and give you the "previously on..."

When I was eight years old, my mom ran a red light, and somebody else's mom ran into her. I mean, she went to the hospital, but she died. My mom - I mean, not somebody else's. Then not long ago, she came back. I mean, she wasn't like a zombie or a vampire... she was a brand new mom - Ellie... hmm... pretty f'd up, right? I mean, how do you react to something like that? How'd she think I'd handle her showing up and telling me she's my long-lost mother? Did she think I'd jump for joy and invite her to a mother-daughter bake-off? Do they even have those? Anyway, it gets worse. Today, I came home to find Ellie in my room. I mean, what the hell is my dad thinking? My room - you know, it's the one place on the planet where I can actually feel safe. You know, I can't even tell you how angry I was when I saw Ellie holding my sketches - just like flipping through 'em like it was junk mail. Anyway, I said some things and then started crying like a girl and I stormed out and now I'm thinking, you know, why the hell did I leave? It's MY room. They should have been the ones to leave. And speaking of leaving, did I mention that my new mom has breast cancer? Hmm, didn't see that one coming, huh? Yeah, I mean - neither did I but, you know, there it is. She's in my life, she's in my room, I'm p___ed, and then I find out she's got cancer. I mean, why even introduce yourself if you come with an expiration date? Hey congratulations on having a strange new mom to bond with, but better do it fast because - hmm, I'm kind of dying. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know it sounds horrible. I don't wish sickness on anybody but... I mean, it doesn't change the fact this has all been a lot to take, so... what happens now, you know? Worse case: I send her away and never get to know her. Best case: I'm the first girl in Tree Hill with 2 dead moms.

So... I'm in the middle of a good life, but a rough month and what shows up among all this stuff with Ellie, and the loss of Jake and his daughter Jenny? A Nada Surf album called, "The Weight Is A Gift." Weight like, W-E-I-G-H-T weight, as in heaviness. And just like that, I'm reminded that - you know what, it's probably gonna be okay. If it doesn't kill me - and it won't, then it'll make me stronger.

So listen, I don't know anything about your world, hell I barely know about mine but if you're carrying around something difficult or something that nobody seems to see or get or can help you with... just remember: The weight is a gift, and we're not going out like that.