POD308 Lyrics

"The sun will come out tomorrow, right Annie?" God, I have always hated that expression, or song or whatever the hell you wanna call it, but 'the sun will come out tomorrow'? SO WHAT? How miserable do you have to be for that to cheer you up? 'Hey, I know your life sucks right now - and you don't have any family or friends... but it's gonna be sunny tomorrow!' Is that supposed to make you happy? You know, I have been just as depressed on sunny days as I have been on cloudy ones.

I've been thinking about my friend Brooke. She's had a horrible couple of days and I keep trying to come up with something to make her feel better and somehow, 'the sun will come out tomorrow' just - it isn't cutting it, okay? And it sucks because I'm Brooke's "go-to girl," you know, and she's mine... even when we were little kids. I'd be upset and be cutting the heads off my dolls and there would be Brooke, right next to me. Granted, she'd be doing the doll's hair... but still, you know, I like to think we're each other's rocks. Well I guess - she's more of like a skipping stone than a rock and I usually hang on for the ride, see where it takes me but, when the stone stops skipping... it starts to sink, you know, and that's where we are. Brooke is sinking and I'm trying to stop her from going under and as usual, it's a guy that's dragging her down. Is it too much to ask that a guy not be totally creepy because if it is, just let me know and I'll stop trying. I'll go ahead and I'll lower standards and hang out at the gas station on Saturday night wearing a T-shirt with a beer logo that says, 'Check out my cans!' you know.

God, I don't know. I mean in all the movies and books about relationships, they never talk about how guys really are... and no, I'm not gonna into to the whole cliched lecture about why we don't have the fairy tale prince, who takes us away on a white horse, to a land of gumdrop houses and rainbow slides. I stopped expecting that a long time ago. God, I've even stopped expecting the stupid romantic comedy where I realize that all along my true love was my best friend and I would have seen it if only I had looked through his dorky glasses. Right now, I'd even settle for the college, gross-out, hook-up s__ movie, you know, the 'American Pie' guys or 'Harold and k__ar,' 'Van Wilder' because when it came down to it, they had heart. No, they seriously did. Yes, they were looking for s__ on the outside, but when you really got into them, they just wanted a relationship. I guess that's just in the movies. The real-life Van Wilder beats some middle-age dropout who wants to sleep with you so he can carve another notch in his bong.

Okay, there's a more specific reason I'm so anti-guy right now... and no it is not because I'm on my period - which is such an insulting thing to ask a girl when she's upset... and I know one of you out there is slightly thinking it... mostly likely a guy. Let me tell you something... if guys got periods, they'd be a million times worse than girls. You ever see a guy with the flu? I mean, seriously, give them the case of the sniffles, they go fetal. Okay, I got off-track a little. I'm sorry.

What was I talking about? Um... oh yeah! GUYS SUCK. Have any of you heard the name Chris Keller? He's this musician, so you may be familiar with some of his songs and if this is how you know him, it's just a faceless voice on the radio - then consider yourselves lucky, because in real-life, he is a complete j_______! Can I say that over this thing? Could he sue me for saying it?! But if he can be one, I should be allowed to call him one, right?! Hey, Chris honey, honey - if you're listening... YOU'RE AN IDIOT! That did make me feel better. It did. Not as good as punching him in the face would feel... Hold on. Let me think about that for a second... Uh huh, yeah, yeah that would be good! See the thing is... argh! He took advantage of Brooke when she was drunk, which is probably the only way anybody would ever sleep with him, you know. He's the type of guy that you'd see parked outside a bar at Last Call, waiting to pounce on the weakest, drunkest gazelle. If you Google 'Walk of Shame' it would probably give you a shortcut home from Chris Keller's house. Nope, I just Googled it, you'll have to find your own way. Did I mention that he talks in third person? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! Anybody out there who talks in third person... just - don't! You sound like this okay: 'Peyton is doing her Podcast. After she's done, Peyton's gonna sign off and download some music and then Peyton's gonna get some shut-eye before Peyton's big day tomorrow.' Wow, see now I wanna punch myself in the face.

You know who else I'd like to punch? Annie. Yeah... that sweet little orphan. As a matter of fact, maybe I'll wait tomorrow when the sun comes out. That way, I can see her annoying little face when I do. So if I can't think of something to say to make Brooke feel better... I'm gonna deliver some serious a__-kicking instead!

Consider yourself warned Tree Hill. Watch your back.