Well my baby's liquored up and she's talkin' to my friends
About this and that and nothin' then she starts it all again
Her head's like a powder keg her hair is on the bar
She's lookin' for a sucker she's found another buyer

Swamp breath sudden death she's sittin' at the bar
She's grabbin' every crotch she sees no matter who they are
She's yellin' at the cops she's goin' too far
(She just took a s___ in the back of my car)
She just blew chunks in the back of my car

She's allllllllllll liquored up
Oh yes my baby she's all liquored up
She's allllllllllll liquored up
Oh she's usually a pretty uh nice girl too
She's allllllllllll liquored up

Well she smiles like a reptile and her lips are razor thin
Her legs are like jello but her voice can rip your skin
To hide her ugly face she puts her skirt above her head
The whole Seventh Fleet is checkin' out her spread

Bow mast shot glass stuck to her snout
Its everybodys buisness don't care what its about
Rum gin anything now its good and stout
The whole bar is hopin' that she soon passes out

She's allllllllllll liquored up
Oh how'd she get so dang liquored up
She's allllllllllll liquored up
Hey man she was supposed to drive ME home
She's allllllllllll liquored up

She's allllllllllll liquored up
I saw her kneeling in the Saints' locker room
She's allllllllllll liquored up
Hell no I ain't payin' her bar tab!
She's allllllllllll liquored up
Bar's open!

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