Tom Lehrer S-N (Snore, Sniff and Sneeze) Lyrics

Like a rooster loves a hen,
Like a lion loves his den,
Like Barbie loves Ken,
I love to do things that begin with "S-N":
I love to sneeze -- [sneeze]
[spoken] Pardon me, please -- [sneeze]
I like to sniffle, it really feels nice.
One handkerchief'll just never suffice.
But brother, watch out for the breeze
When I sneeze -- [sneeze -- sneeze --sneeze]
I love to sniff -- [sniff]
[spoken] Just take a whiff -- [sniff]
I also like snarling, it feels good to me.
Snarling is darling, I'm sure you'll agree.
But I'm even happier if
I can sniff -- [sniff]
And sneeze -- [sneeze]
I love to snore -- [snore]
[spoken] It's more like a roar -- [snore]
I like to snooze. I like resting my head.
I take off my shoes.
And I snuggle in bed.
Sometimes I just lie on the floor.
And snore -- [snore]
And sniff -- [sniff]
And sneeze -- [sneeze -- sneeze --sneeze]
Sometimes I just like to snicker, "tee-hee"
Or snub any snob who is snotty to me.
And whenever I have a few moments to spend.
[spoken] I can snoop on a neighbor or snitch on a friend!
But much more than any of these.
I love to snore and to sniff and to sneeze.
[snore -- sniff -- sneeze, repeated while fading out]