DZK Xenu Fights Back Lyrics

Hello Humans
This is Xenu
Don't try Lying
Because I've Seen you
Here reveiling
my once expensive secrets
believe me people
Im as freaking real as Jesus
for a thousand measly dollars
I can teach you how to follow
our directions
for better leaving
but no drugs
no s__
and we get one of your kidneys
(Sign here)
If you give us your life savings
you'll receive a
much higher ranking
(and a keychain)
And more status among the members
means you get the better parking at the center
(Handicap zone)
L Ron Hubbard f___ed his Mother
(eww)
Then his father
(Oh god)
Then his brother
(Yea, I knew that one)
Plus his uncles
(Aww)
Tried to kiss him
(AWW)
So to escape it he'd write the gayest science fiction
(True)
Then he came up
with a system
(yea)
which he named his
new relegion
(Pshh)
Only problem
He was lyin'
And only movie stars were dumb enough to buy it
(I'm lookin' at you John Travolta)

On this very day
seventy five million years ago
I Xenu
Galactic Ruler of the Galactic Confederacy
Brought billions of people to Earth
I stacked them around volcanoes
and using the powers of psycology
I froze them in place
and then I blew them with Hydrogen bombs
Hahaha
Their souls were clustered together and stuck to the bodies of the living
Honestly
what do you humans think has been causing all this chaos and havoc since the beginning of time?
(Hmm)(Hmm)
(I dunno black people?)(Yea Black people)
Hahaha I think not!
(oh)

Xenu!

(And Cut!)
(Folks thats a Rap)
(Great Job Tom!)
(Thank you)

That just may be about
the dumbest
story ever
who the f___ is
really joining
this f___ing bullshit
If you've been a member
put your finger on the trigger
(Gun c___)
Pull it.
I said Pull it!
(Gun Shot)
Blow your brains out.
(Thats right)
If your Tom Cruise
(Heeeey)
Cut a Vein Out
(nooooooo)
Of your wrist please
Cause' your 40
And the dumbest f___er on the tv since we've seen corkey
Fah la la
life goes on.
(derp derp)

b____.