Eddie is a nightclub owner - Owns the Northern Half of the town
He can't see his toes past his belly - Whenever he looks down
But underneath his belly is a turquoise belt
Drives the women wild(ahhh) - Makes me melt(uhhh)

Eddie, Eddie, Eddie you're looking fine

Eddie is my secret lover - Although it's known through half of the town
We wine and dine at Howard Johnson's - When the club shuts down
And underneath his hairpiece is a clever mind
He balances his wife and a concubine
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie I wish you were mine

But all's not fair in love and war and life as Eddie's concubine
I refuse to take much more below the Mason Dixon line
They say for richer and for poorer but what of Eddie's concubine
Who gets the scraps upon the floor below the Mason Dixon line?
Eddie's concubine

Eddie makes his wife afternoons and - Gives me the evening shifts
Eddie breaks up fights at the changing of the guard
Whenever we have our rifts
And underneath is polyknit a heart to match
It never wrinkles in the wash he's such a catch
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie I wish you were mine

Eddie makes a pretty good living - Stealing from the college bands
Eddie pulls in locals with the Skynyrd groups
But only serves the beer in cans
Underneath his belt is bribe for the cops
He'll only hire girls if they take off their tops (woohoo!)
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie your wife's on the line

I swear I'm walking out the door - If I remain his concubine
I don't think I can take much more below the Mason Dixon line
But alimony keeps you poor below the Mason Dixon line
We'll feast upon the fatted boar - If I remain his concubine
Remain his concubine

Eddie (eddie) Eddie (eddie) Then he'll set a wedding date (yeah!)
Eddie (eddie) Eddie (eddie) Eddie wrote a promissory note
Eddie (eddie) Eddie (eddie) Eddie said he'd buy me a boat

This boat has nothing fun on board for me - The first mate concubine
For Valentine's I got an oar - While he controls his fishing line
I'm feeling cheated and ignored - It's me I'm Eddie's concubine
And Jenny Craig is such a chore - To rid myself of this waistline
But I'm his concubine

Eddie is a nightclub owner - A man who runs a double life
He says that when he sells his business - He promises to leave his wife
But underneath his promise he means later than sooner
He just bought his wife a 32- foot schooner
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie that should've been mine

Eddie is big fat liar, lying like a bearskin rug
Eddie took his money to retire - I only got a Ziggy mug
Underneath my jacket is a loaded gun
I think I'll just point and watch the piggy run
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie spare me your line

I'm out of here - I'm out the door
I'm through being his concubine
I've got the Chevy 4x4 - And I can tow a boat just fine
I'm driving East toward the shore - I'll trace the Mason Dixon line
I'm no loser, I'm no w____ - I'm through being his concubine

I'm not his concubine (she's not his concubine)
I'm not his concubine (she's not his concubine)
I'm not his concubine (she's not his concubine)
I'm not his concubine

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