Man 1: Its been said that your grandfather brought dead tissue back to life.Is that true
Doctor Frankenstein?

Man 2: Its been said that your grandfather created a horrifying monster.Is that true,
Doctor Frankenstein?

Man 3: Its been said, nay even sung,
that your grandfather's monster hurt and lamed, killed and maimed.
Is that true, Doctor Frankenstein?

Chorus: Is that true, Doctor Frankenstein? X2
Is that true? X 4
Doctor Frankenstein!?

Frederick:
That's Frankenstein
My name, it's p___ounced Frankenstein
Yes, yes, yes. The whole world knows what my grandfather did.
But please do I look like the kind of madman
that would prowl around graveyards digging up freshly buried corpses?

Man: Well Professor...

Frederick: Don't answer that.

I'm not a Frankenstein
I don't indulge in hijinx or tomfooleries.

I'm not a Frankenstein
I don't believe in mummies, ghosts, or ghouleries.

I deal in facts not fiction
I am a scientist
I live for truth and reason
That's the reason I exist.

There is a vast difference between my crazy grandfather's delusional experiments
and my own devotion to pure science
Which leads us directly to the subject of today's lecture.

The Brain
There is nothing like the Brain
Hearts and lungs are simply tinker toys
When stacked against the Brain

Insane
I'm insane about the Brain
No invention in the universe
Is equal to the Brain
The mouth's a marvel when it comes to eating
I've nothing against the womb
I thank the bladder when I'm excreting
And I always give the elbow room

But the Brain
Please allow me to explain
There's no organ to compare to it
I swear to it.
It's plain!
It's the Brain

Mr. Hilltop here.
With whom I have never worked
Nor given any prior instruction to
Has graciously offered his services for this afternoon's demonstration

His Medulla Oblongata
Tells his brain stem that it's gotta
Send an impulse full of data
Which creates a lot of pain

His frontal lobe gets busy
With a thought that makes him dizzy
Puts his cortex in a tizzy
So he never will complain

That's what I love about the Brain

Mr. Hilltop, will you raise your left knee please.
You have just witnessed a voluntary nerve impulse
Mr. Hilltop, you may lower your knee

Reflex movements, on the other hand
Are those which are made independently of the will
Why you dirty rotten yellow son of a b____!

Even though I almost kneed him
His reflexes have no freedom
To react when I mistreat him
Its important I explain

Synaptic Nerve Connection
Goes its way without detection
Bringing Cranial Protection
In a never ending chain

That's what I love about the Brain

But what if we were to block those nerve impulses
By simply applying local pressure
Which can be done with any ordinary metal clamp
Just at the swelling of the posterior nerve roots
For say oh... 4 seconds

Why you mother grabbing b______!

As you can see even though I just smashed my knee into his crotch
He does react, he feels absolutely nothing

(Mr. Hilltop moans in pain)

... More or less.

So, if it were not for this continuous stream of motor impulses from the Brain
We would collapse like a bunch of broccoli
And in conclusion
So there's no confusion
Let me say it once again

Though your genetalia
Has been known to fail ya
You can bet your a__ on the Brain!
Everybody!

All: The Brain!
There is nothing like the Brain!
It's the king of our anatomy
And ever shall it reign!

Frederick: You can
Call me Copernicus, Kepplar, and Newton
Compare me to Freud and I'd feel highfalutin
Call me a Darwin I love that man's theory
Call me Pasteur and watch me get teary
Say Madam Curie that would be the best
Call me a Rorschach Im up to the test

I really light up when you call me Edison
Call me an Ehrlich I like that man's medicine
Call me Marconi that wireless wow!
Call me Pavlov and I bark like a choux Woof!
Call me an Einstein and that would be fine
Call me a Tesla I wouldn't decline
But to call me a Frankenstein would be insane

Cuz I
Love
The
Brain!!!!!!

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