Alice, who the f___ is Alice?

Sally called when she got the word,
She said :"I suppose you've heard
about Alice"
When I rushed to the window
and I looked outside
And I could hardly believe my eyes
As a big limousine moved up
Into Alice's drive..

Oh I don't know why she's leaving
Or where she's gonna go
I guess she's got her reasons
but I just don't wanna know
'Cos for twenty-four years I've been living next door do Alice
Alice, who the f___ is Alice?

Twenty-four years just waiting for a chance
to tell her how I feel
and maybe get a second glance
Now I've got to get used to not living next door to Alice
Alice, who the f___ is Alice?

We grew up together
Two kids in the park
We carved our initials
deep in the bark,
Me and Alice
Now she walks through the door
with her head held high
Just for a moment
I caught her eye
As the big limousine pulled slowly
Out of Alice's drive

Oh I don't know why she's leaving
Or where she's gonna go
I guess she's got her reasons
but I just don't wanna know
'Cos for twenty-four years I've been living next door do Alice
Alice, who the f___ is Alice?

Twenty-four years just waiting for a chance
to tell her how I feel
and maybe get a second glance
Now I've got to get used to not living next door to Alice
Alice, who the f___ is Alice?

And Sally called back and asked how I felt
And she said "I know how to help - Get over alice"

She said "Now alice is gone
but I'm still here
You know I've been waiting for twenty-four years..."
And the big limousine pulled away
And there was no room for me
Because Smokie had f___ed off
See ya, lads!

Oh I don't know why she's leaving
Or where she's gonna go
I guess she's got her reasons
but I just don't want to know
'Cos for twenty-four years I've been living next door do Alice
Alice, who the f___ is Alice?

Twenty-four years just waiting for a chance
to tell her how I feel
and maybe get a second glance
But I'll never get used to not living next door to Alice
Alice, who the f___ is Alice?
No, I'll never get used to not living next door to Alice
Just leave me here lads
Go on, just f___ off
You're alright, yeah, I'll get the bus
Yeah
p___ Off!

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