Brighten up you home, it said in the advert
All your decorating done by an expert
How the hell was I to know he's such a dirty sod
I wanted subtle shades, maybe something duller
There's paint on the chairs & the dogs a different colour
I'm the only bloke I know that does have a day-glo scullery...

[ Chorus: ]
Dez the demon...never coming back, he's never coming back ooeee
Dez the demon...never get a cheque, he'll never get a cheque from me
Dez the demon decorator

He split a tin o'gloss coz he's a clumsy swine
"I'll paint the carpet pink, I've got no turpentine"
Pink footprints everywhere reminding me
The neighbours came for tea & they began to frown
The wallpaper was c___-eyed, flowers upside down
What the flippen 'ecks that decorating clown done now...
[ Chorus.... Guitar Bit ]

Dez the demons deed is done, my house is an eye-sore
b__ps & Lumps in the wallpaper, paint splashed on the floor
I won't be calling Dez the demon, won't be calling Dez the demon
I won't be calling Dez the demon decorator anymore...
[ Chorus ]

See also:
JustSomeLyrics
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125.118
I'm The Walrus Lyrics
Banda dell'Armata Rossa Inno Unione Sovietica Lyrics