As the crowd roars, into the center ring steps our fractured baritone. Are you in voice, Winstead?
I believe I am in voice. (Whistle) Uhhhhh.
Professor.

Oh, honce I was whappy...
Oh, once I was sappy...
Sap, I was wancin... oh no
Once I was happy, but fow I'm nolorn, eh
Lorn I'm fow now, eh
Fine I'm right now, eh
Nylons are free, nono
Now I'm folorn.

Like an old goat - oh, no not a goat, that's an animal.
Like an old coat that is torntered and tat, eh
Teetered and tom...
Tattered and tip...
Tattered to payer...
Ripped.

Left in this wide world to sleep and to snore, eh
To weep and to horn
Betweened by a jade in her means, no
Bemeaned by a trade for some jeans, no
Bejeaned by a teen with some ja... no
Betrayed by a maid in her teens.

He floats by his hair - no, not by his hair, that would hurt.

Speaking of hair, a man came up to me today and said, "Doodles, your hair is getting thin". And I said, "Well, who wants fat hair?" How's that, killer?

He floats through the air with the atest of grease...
With the latest of please...
With plates full of cheese, nono
With the birds and the bees - he can't miss.
The manning young dare...
The daring young mare - that's not a horse, that's silly, break his neck.
The fanning young dare...
The danning young fare...
He's an awful old hare...
He's a young feller 'bout my age...

You know a funny thing happened, a man came up to me and said, "Doodles. Doodles, did you leave home?" I said, " I left home." He said, "Did you put the cat out?" I said, "I didn't know he was on fire." How's that, killer?

The daring young man on the flapping tripiece...
Treecing triflaps...
Trying flip flip...
Flipping triflap...
Flapping trivalve...
Horizontal bar.

His grations are axel...no
His actions are horribel...no
He's very good, all girls he does please.
But my wove he has lolen astay, no
The dogs in the hail off the way, no
I on the road to Mandalay, no
Hey, hey, hey...nono

Did you hear about the owl who married a goat? They had a hootnanny. How's that, killer?

He's the man on the flying trapeze.

See also:
JustSomeLyrics
15
15.52
RAIN (Bi) I (Na) Lyrics
Jungle Brothers Doin' Our Own Dang Lyrics