I'm sitting in my chair watching the TV
It's not even on but there's plenty for me to see
I just lit some crazy a__ s___
that my friend overnight mailed to me

I'm f___ing wasted
It's the best s___ I ever tasted
I think they f___ing laced it
Cause I'm so d___ lambasted

Oh my friend came over so I packed him a pipe
I told him he better go easy with this s___ but he didn't believe the hype
He sparked three bows just to show he could take it
Two minutes later he was playing backgammon naked

He's f___ing wasted
It's the best s___ he ever tasted
He's lost in f___ing s___ed-ed
Cause he's so wicked wicked wasted

Oh I spent the last two hours
hiding under my bed
Cause I looked in the garbage can
and I think I saw my Uncle Louie's head

I'm f___ing wasted

Well my friend blew a hit into my pet bird's face
The bird laughed hysterically and started to moonwalk all over the place
He tripped over the toaster wire and fell on his beak
He looked at the two of us and he started to speak

I'm f___ing wasted
It's the best s___ I've ever tasted
My brain's been erased-ed
Well f___ing fried

I'm sitting in the bathtub wanting something to eat
I wanted a pizza the bird said Pepperoni would be sweet
Delivery guy showed up four hours later, handed me his shoe
I said we ordered pizza buddy, what the hell's up with you

I'm f___ing wasted
It's the best s___ I ever f___ing tasted
Oh f___ing s___

I'm way too baked

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