Adam Sandler Dancin' And Pantsin' Lyrics

Performed by Adam Sandler, Allen Covert, Jon Rosenburg, Frank Coraci, and Bob Glaub

When I was a young man
I didn't like to dance
I was shy
I'd stand against the wall all night
I'd never take a chance
So afraid
I wouldn't get on that dance floor
Unless I was really drunk
10 shots

But I found a place where the stars hang out
And they taught me how to funk
Real nasty
It ain't too far away
It's just on the edge of town
Nearby
But be ready when you get there
'Cause these folks don't f___ around

You can
Rub your belly with Liza Minelli
Covered in jelly, you're gonna rub your belly
Jiggle your droopy b____ with singin' Lou Rawls
Bounce off the walls, then jiggle them droopy b____
Grind your hips with the blond guy from CHIPS
Lick your lips
Stroke it clean with Martin Sheen
It's f___ing obscense
Clench your a__-cheeks tight with s__y grandma Betty White
You'll see the light when your sphincter's tight

If you don't know how to move
Just feel the groove
And dance
Like you just s___ your pants

Spin like a little girl
With cross-dressing Milton Berle
Just give it a whirl, pretend you're a little girl
Wave that juicy weeno with legendary Al Pacino
Wave your weeno, even more obsceno
Knock back a drink with Colonel Klink
p___ in the sink
Bounce your beef with Omar Sharif
What a relief
Ring the disco bell with ice cream wizard Tommy Carvel
Tommy Carvel gonna make your d___ swell

Then spew all over the room
With Mr. Jeffry Goldblum
And dance
Like you just s___ your pants

Mr. Belvedere
Fatty Fatty
Finger in his own rear
Bernard King
Basketball, basketball
Showing off his ding-a-ling
Swimming Mark Spitz
Moustache, moustache
Playing with his hairy t__s

Big Earl Weaver, Tommy Seaver
Both of them got the boogie fever
s___ your pants
You can
Do the hustle with seven-footer Billy Russell
Do the f___ing hustle, jerking your love muscle
Shake your big, round a__ with the ghost of Mama Cass
Blast from the past, the ghost of Mama Cass
Dry-hump the floor with Mary Tyler-Moore
Pump it sore
Squeeze your nipple like baldy Mr. Whipple
Drink some Ripple
Give it a hearty whack with TV great Victor Tayback
When you give it a whack, don't hurt the nut-sack

So if the thought of grooving is bringing you down
Come to the funkiest place in town
The stars will show you how to move
And dance
Like you just s___ your pants