Someone please save us, us college kids
What my parents told me is what I did
They said go to school and be a college kid
But in the end i questioned why I did

I'm poor, I'm starving, I'm flat broke, I've got no cash to spend
Sell all my books for front row tickets to Dave Matthews band
My girlfriends at another school I know this year will test her
I called, found out she had 3 other boyfriends last semester

[Chorus]
And thats why I say
Oh no, not for me, not for me
Call it torture, call it university
No, arts and crafts is all I need
I'll take caligraphy and then I'll make a fake degree

80 grand later I found out that all I had learned
Is that you should show up to take your finals and your midterms
The party scene is kinda mean, I think its sick and twisted
The navy showed up at my dorm and claimed that I enlisted

[Chorus]
And thats why I say
Oh no, not for me, not for me
Call it torture, call it university
No, arts and crafts is all I need
I'll take caligraphy and then I'll make a fake degree

Dont get excited, she'll say "no" without a doubt you see
And ive decided college girls just wont go out with me
They make me nervous
and they always catch me off my guard
Like cell phone service I drop out cause college is too hard

Its time to call my father
Cause its his alma mater
Good grades arent what they seem
I think he knows the dean
Its time to call my father
Cause its his alma mater
He said hes proud of me
But college always was his dream
And I would always say its not for me

[Chorus]
And thats why I say
Oh no, not for me, not for me
Call it torture, call it university
No, arts and crafts is all I need
I'll take caligraphy and then I'll make a fake degree

Phi, beta, delta, kappa
Do what will make you happy
Do what you feel is right
Only but one thing matters
Learn how to live your life

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